Although I am a {choose one: murderer / rapist / drunkard } – and was planning on { murdering / raping / drinking } 10 more { women / drinks }, I am now ONLY going to { murder /rape / drink } 5 more { women /drinks } ! That makes me a “tzaddik” (righteous person) for the great SACRIFICE of cutting out 5 {murders / rapes / drinks }!!

“And in the future, we shall have a bipartisan commission …. and Americans should think about their country and not about petty self-interest {their country meaning MY SELF-INTEREST!} … and together we shall restore America’s hope and greatness …. while, of course, not neglecting the elderly, veterans, the poor, education, the troops…. thank you and good night.”

[ Pass out the air sickness bags – there are politicians on the television! ]

“Finally, “the fourth step in our approach is to reduce spending in the tax code,” preached the president. By which he and his menagerie of morons mean not to shorten the tax code to one page, and both reduce and flatten individual and corporate rates—but to sock it to the rich.” – And for all intensive purposes, any business would meet their definition of “rich”…even a pitifully small company can make in excess of $500,000/yr – but it doles this out to taxes, fees, employees, contractors, investors, stock holders, various insurances, etc.

Taxes on the “rich” are taxes on us all in the end. How insane is that anyway – we’re happy with the thieves stealing from us as long as they’re stealing more from somebody else.