printTo all the muddled thinkers out there, who’ve bought into the (decidedly progressive) paradigm, according to which every misdeed is a disorder–think about Shawn’s parents. Quit working overtime to reduce cognitive dissonance and, instead, think rationally:
If my daughter were abducted, and given such freedoms as this boy was given; if she then visited her mom’s website and posted a message thereon, as this boy did, saying, “For how long will you be looking for your daughter?”–I would be furious. A parent in this situation is beside himself with worry — all he or she can think of is, Is my baby alive; is she warm enough. Is she suffering? Parents would be living every day with the fear that their child died in agony.
And this little shit can’t even add to his e-mail: “Your son is alive, don’t sweat … like, whatever. Sorry gotta run; I have a game of Dragon Ball Z and Gears of War on the go with my buddy Tony.”
Use your heads!
I know that my daughter, who still checks in with me even though she’s an adult, would have let me know she was alive. She’d be too scared not to. And she knows better than to try this line on me: “Mom, I was suffering that syndrome that nice lady on TV said I had, and that prevented me from calling.”
Perhaps my kid was brought up to think logically, which is why she’s such a mensch.
Update: Consider: small children during the Holocaust performed amazingly brave acts, such as smuggling food in and out the ghetto for their families. Some were shot on site by the Nazis. Read about the brave children of Afghanistan. The human spirit — that of children too—is irrepressible. Yet here people are suggesting that this lad was incapable of contacting his poor parents for 4 years, not even to let them know he was alive.
I think the same thing about this situation. One thing that bothers me in particular is the fact that the family broke itself financially trying to find this child. The future of the parents, and other children, is compromised because this boy chose toys over his family.
[Or at least didn’t give the suffering of his mom and dad much thought.]
It’s because your daughter was brought up to think logically and because she’s a girl.
You’re thinking like a responsible parent with an ultra responsible child, which is not the norm.
When I was young, I’d go out and play with friends. I remember coming home quite a few times, and my mom would tell me how worried sick she was and asked me why didn’t I call. Well, I was a kid, and I never thought about it. I felt I could take care of myself and as long as I knew where I was, the thought about my dear old parents wondering about my whereabouts never crossed my mind. If I was taken away by a friendly guy who gave me all the freedom that I wanted and didn’t put his hands on me, I can’t honestly say if I would have ever contacted my parents ever. When you’re that age, your parents are law makers and punishers – things you despise and want to get away from.
I’ve been told that until I have a kid I’ll never know what it’s like to be a parent. That sentiment rings true even though I can’t theoretically confirm it. But I do know that right now all that i’m concerned about is me because I don’t have a Little Johnny running around to be worried about. Your views are skewed because you’re a parent.
Kids performing brave acts for their survival and for their family’s survival is in no way analogous to Shawn’s actions and the context in which he he did or didn’t do what he was supposed to do.
Under threat, Shawn would have done everything he could to get out of the situation. But that was not the case. He was living every boy’s dream so there was no impetus to do the right thing.
As a kid, under threat, I would fight to the death. As a kid allowed to eat junk food, play games, not attend school, and do whatever I want, I would stick with the status quo.
Regarding your update. I recently read John Gatto’s The Underground History of American Education. One aspect of the book concerned how our system stymies the path to adulthood. In other words, it encourages us to grow up a lot slower than is natural. He points out that Lafyette was only 19 years old when he assisted the American War for Independence.
My recollection of being 11 suggests to me that I would not have reacted as did this boy. Of course, I was 11 during the 1960’s.
Wow, has it really come to this? A kid chooses not to contact his parents in spite of all the opportunity to do so, and all we hear are diagnoses about his mental state. Boo hoo hoo. This may be a new low for people who will dignose anything away. Maybe they can diagnose me up with a disorder that will prevent me from ever having to go back to work. [There are a few unique, good-for-a-laugh diagnoses here]
In this day and age, every kid gets an iPod, every kid get an XBox or Playstation, and every kid gets a computer. But there’s no excuse for Shaun’s behavior, even if his parents were to deprive him of this stuff. The bottom line is that a kidnapper has to be a FOOL by virtue of his status as a kidnapper, and what a kid needs most is not an iPod or an XBox; what a kid needs most is WISDOM, and a kid can only have wisdom if he has WISE parents (or parent-figures). If Shawn had any wisdom of his own, he would have done everything in his power to escape the fool and return to his parents.