A Glorified Lap Dancer Is Not a Musician


Gorgeous, entertainer, great dancer, great beauty, well-coordinated, fabulous at twerking, a glorified lap dance: Beyoncé is all those. A musician she is not.

At last, someone who is a musician calls it as it is. Carlos Santana stands firm (no apology tour, maestro), insisting that Beyoncé is no musician:

“With all respect to our sister Beyoncé,” he said, “Beyoncé is very beautiful to look at and it’s more like modeling kind of music—music to model a dress—she’s not a singer, singer, with all respect to her.”

What a lovely analogy! The girl models a song. All the video vixens act and model their “numbers.” Without the indispensable aid of the almighty Auto-Tune, Katy Perry would sound even more like a chipmunk. That’s fine. There’s a market for this. But please don’t call it music.

Santana stands against decades of pop-porn marketed as “music.” He knows that definitions matter. We need to know the difference between Santana’s playing and the two-chord wonders in most bands today.

And Santana’s not the best. This unknown neoclassical guitarist isn’t famous, but he’s far and away the superior player: exquisite compositions, stunning virtuosity (not sure Santana could play “Mushrooms of Fire.” It’s effing impossible. My fav. The short samples don’t upload in the Fire Fox browser. Try Microsoft Edge.)

“Dealer” from my favorite Album, “Inner Secrets”:

“Well All Right”:

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