Category Archives: Journalism

Updated: Conjugate The Verb, Dammit!

English, Journalism

Kiefer Sutherland, in the role of Jack Bauer of “24,” was about to chop off a colleague’s hand. The Counter Terrorist Unit underling had been cuffed to a ticking time bomb. Saving his life meant severing the tethered hand. Or at least that was the scenario painted. So, on what was I fixated? I was fuming over scriptwriters and actors who can’t conjugate the verb to “lie.” Sutherland had just instructed the soon-to-be handless colleague to “lay” still. Bill Clinton did the same in a recent interview: “The Democrats cannot lay down and die,” he told the interviewer. Almost every single person on TV does it, with the exception of Dan Rather, Tom Brokaw, and other old-timers. I once wrote to Bill O’Reilly for writing “laying on the beach,” or something similar, in a column. He never wrote back, but the error was promptly rectified, although he repeats it constantly in speech.
It’s “lie down and die,” not “lay down,” stupid! Repeat after me: “I am lying on the bed now. I lay on the bed yesterday. I had once lain on that very same bed. And I will, no doubt, lie on it again.”
Another conjugation crime is, “I had went” instead of “I had gone.”
Some time ago, I remarked to a writer that the past indicative and past participle of “spit” is “spat.” He had written something to the effect of: “yesterday I spit on his porch.” I like hillbilly culture but that was taking it to extremes.
Professor Michael Strumpf, creator of The National Grammar Hot Line, agrees. He has straightened out thousands of errant–and often arrogant–Americans over the years.
We all make mistakes. I’m always grateful when a vigilant reader corrects my spelling; it’s not very good. But some mistakes are particularly bad.

Update: Writer Kevin Grace has been brooding about bad writing, and, in particular, one “passionate voice for stupidity since well before 1984, who can’t write for toffee”: ex-politician Sheila Copps. Kevin wonders whether perhaps newspapers are just giving their readers what they want. “If literacy is now supererogatory and editors are otiose, if bad writing now pays better than good, then why kick against the pricks?”

Kevin’s premise here, however, is that newspaper editors know better. For the most, I think they don’t. Having retired the old guard, newspaper executives hire the young and hip only. The latter think it archaic and stodgy to insist on rules of usage (I’m not even sure their schools teach them the basics any longer). They court lax standards and would gladly sacrifice precision and passion for laidback coolness and ennui (it’s much less threatening to HUGE egos; Wonkette’s prose, anyone?).

As the post’s title suggests–and as Kevin knows all too well–the bad drive out the good.

On Sober Spirits And Spies

Journalism

What’s there to debate? Lawrence Franklin, a “Pentagon analyst [who] was charged Wednesday with illegally passing classified information about potential attacks on U.S. forces in Iraq to two members of a pro-Israel lobbying group” deserves opprobrium, and worse. What I’d like to offer is some perspective. While it shouldn’t be condoned, all governments spy on each other, friendly governments included. “Russians and Americans still spy on each” (Robert Hanssen anyone?); “peeping” is a time-honored tradition (hey, Canada?). Franklin, moreover, has done his Israeli mates no favors, unless he is unaware that some in America now share with Eurabia, Arabia, and “the executive committee of the Third World dictatorships,” otherwise known as the UN, the “perception” of Israel as the greatest threat to American security and world peace. I know; these are not the most sober spirits. While this gang bangs on about the Israeli Influence, Muslim “Charities” across the U.S. funnel money to terrorists; many of the community’s religious pillars preach war on the West from their pulpits, while pretending to promote peace; and crafty —oh so powerful —Muslim lobbying groups privately defend al-Qaida’s capo di tutti capi, while posing as moderates, and whispering sweet nothings in naïve American ears. As a softy from Washington’s Council on American-Islamic Relations put it, “Islam isn’t in America to be equal to any other faith, but to become dominant. The Koran . . . should be the highest authority in America, and Islam the only accepted religion on earth.” (CAIR claims to represent moderates.) Next time you shake in your socks on an American airplane, as Middle-Eastern men strut up and down the isles unhindered, duck into toilets with cell phones and cameras, flout flight rules and intimidate terrified travelers with menacing gestures, remember to thank Muslim lobby groups for ensuring rational profiling remains illegal. (If only El-Al flew locally). There’s another small snag in the theory of Israeli subversives: Israelis didn’t attack the U.S. in 1993, 1998, 2000 and 2001; Muslim terrorists did. Journalists who neglect all the above, yet work indefatigably to depict Israel as the source of all evil, are looking through the wrong end of the telescope. Worse; they’ve abnegated journalistic responsibilities.