This was for a game that ended in a tie. Yes, a TIE – an exhilarating 1-1 final score. … So in a 100-minute game, something happened two times and nothing happened 98 times. … Watching people run 62 miles by circumnavigating a big field all day with no scoring! …
… You can’t use your hands in soccer (thus eliminating the danger of having to catch a fly ball). What sets man apart from the lesser beasts, besides a soul, is that we have opposable thumbs. Our hands can hold things. Here’s a great idea: Let’s create a game where you’re not allowed to use them!
… I resent the force-fed aspect of soccer. The same people trying to push soccer on Americans are the ones demanding that we love HBO’s “Girls,” light-rail, Beyonce and Hillary Clinton. The number of New York Times articles claiming soccer is “catching on” is exceeded only by the ones pretending women’s basketball is fascinating.
Ann Coulter makes good fun of football or soccer. Whether you’re a fan of the game or not, you should find the two columns a lot of fun. The fact that she got hate mail for these pieces is a sure sign that the witless now walk the earth.