printBarely A Blog’s grumpy resident rocket scientist, Myron Robert Pauli, PhD, complains about the foolishness of the false choices set up by politicians.
The Fiorina Anti-Terrorism Algorithm
By Myron Pauli
Given a choice between “doing something stupid” and “doing nothing,” our messianic politicians and their voters will opt for stupid like passing another ‘Patriot Act.’ Where is the more benign Gerald Ford when you need him?
So after the traditional TSA nudie-scan, grope, and mass spectrometer scan at Denver Airport, on my way to another aircraft survivability meeting, I settled in my hotel room to watch a rerun of CNN’s “Republican debate” on how to survive San Bernardino. The politicians were angry about the immigrants Tsarnaevs granted asylum in America (despite warnings by Big Bad Vlad Putin that they were Chechen terrorists) under the “Brother of Jeb!” Bush administration. They were angry about Major Malik Nidal Hasan who was publicly ranting Jihad for years – e-mails from him to Anwar al-Awlaki under both the Bush and Obama administrations were read by the FBI, Defense Criminal Investigative Service, Army, and Joint Terrorist Task Force did not even result in taking away his ID badge!
The shoe-bomber happened under Bush and the underwear bomber (who traveled from Nigeria to the US via Yemen and whose father warned the CIA he was a terrorist) was allowed to fly to the US under both the Bush and Obama administrations. Perhaps under Clinton or Cruz, we’ll get the necktie bomber. At least Gerald Ford would just have us wear a KAT (Kill All Terrorists) button to go with the WIN (Whip Inflation Now) button instead of eviscerating the Bill of Rights.
How to respond? “Moderates” like John Kasich want to punch Putin in the nose while Christie wants to shoot down Russian planes. World War III – oh goodie! “Moderate” Rubio attacks Cruz for being “soft on terrorism” by not wanting to monitor billions of e-mails and calls every year. Carly “high-tech” Fiorina, who got $100,000,000 for wrecking HP, calls for an “algorithm” from the “high-tech” community to spot terrorism!
So let’s “read” this “decrypted and translated” e-mail from “Abdul” to “Ishmael,” shall we?
My mother wants me to wear this hideous yellow sweater … I ate falafel, ful medames, and lamb shisk-kebab at Suleiman’s café last Wednesday … My cousin Fatima is marrying Yussef, who I know from 8th grade, in Hoboken on July 15th at 8 pm
As opposed to:
“My grandmother insists I wear this grotesque blue vest … I enjoyed beef shish-kebab, lentils, and tehina at Achmed’s bistro last Tuesday … My niece Jazmine is marrying Farouk, whom I went to school with in 6th grade, in Dearborn on June 11th at 4 pm”.
Do you honestly think that the people who can’t spot Hasan and Tsarnaevs and Underpantsabomber can understand how pre-arranged terrorist instructions can be translated by perfectly innocuous e-mails? Carly, you are a complete fraud!
Naturally, I trust President Hillary Clinton with reading my e-mails! She would NEVER NEVER NEVER turn this on her political enemies! (Sure!) Just as the government rounded up grave threats like Clement Vallandigham (Lincoln), Eugene Debs (Wilson), and Fred Korematsu (FDR), Hillary Clinton or Marco Rubio can spot the terrorists with the Fiorina algorithm.
Perhaps Fiorina’s “algorithm” can connect Muslim sounding names with lethal things like “gunfire” or poisonous chemicals like arsenic. Aha, I can envisage the peer-reviewed journal article soon to be workable technology (NOT):
“Infrared Detection and Geolocation of Gunfire and Ordnance Events from Ground and Air Platforms” By the Turkish-born Mehmet Ertem and Myron Pauli. Further investigation may discover Iranian-born Manijeh Razeghi working with Myron Pauli on InAsSb photodetectors. Find the common name and we can spot the terrorist mastermind – me!
******
Barely a Blog (BAB) contributor Myron Pauli grew up in Sunnyside Queens, went off to college in Cleveland and then spent time in a mental institution in Cambridge MA (MIT) with Benjamin Netanyahu (did not know him), and others until he was released with the “hostages” and Jimmy Carter on January 20, 1981, having defended his dissertation in nuclear physics. Most of the time since, he has worked on infrared sensors, mainly at Naval Research Laboratory in Washington DC. He was NOT named after Ron Paul but is distantly related to physicist Wolftgang Pauli; unfortunately, only the “good looks” were handed down and not the brains. He writes assorted song lyrics and essays reflecting his cynicism and classical liberalism. Click on the “BAB’s A List” category to access the Pauli archive.