Toilet Taliban



What a remarkably ill-bred, indelicate creature is singer Sheryl Crow. Read the following bons mots for a sense of creepy Crow’s planet-saving concoctions:

I have designed a clothing line that has what’s called a ‘dining sleeve.’ The sleeve is detachable and can be replaced with another ‘dining sleeve,’ after usage. The design will offer the ‘diner’ the convenience of wiping his mouth on his sleeve rather than throwing out yet another barely used paper product. I think this idea could also translate quite well to those suffering with an annoying head cold.

Raised in a barn she must have been. Her mother clearly never taught her any table manners. How crass and asinine can Crow get? Read on:

Now, I don’t want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required.

I’m not sure what’s more offensive, Crow’s notion of what industry and natural rights consist of, or her filthy ideas about personal hygiene. The only thing that might redeem this toilet Taliban is the knowledge that she has a bidet in her well-appointed bathroom. Judging from what we’ve heard so far, she sure needs one.

8 thoughts on “Toilet Taliban

  1. John Danforth

    I think airheads should be encouraged to speak out like this. People who have been too busy to research environ mentalism for themselves can now plainly see who the message appeals to and what kind of solutions are in store for us.

    Here is a case where the reductio ad absurdum is contained in the proposed new law, leaving further analysis open only on the ramifications of it.

    Apparently having the government in my toilet saving water by making me flush twice doesn’t bring them close enough to their real goal.

    Perhaps her special clothing line will include some special pants for those pesky occasions. Would it be tasteless to suggest some innovative features?

    That’s about as deep into this subject as I’m willing to go. But the whole thing is pricelessly amusing, anyway.

    –John Danforth–

  2. Robert Reavis

    The only thing that might redeem this toilet Taliban is the knowledge that she has a bidet in her well-appointed bathroom. Judging from what we’ve heard so far, she sure needs one.”
    This is true Ilana , but unfortunately she thinks a bidet is for washing her feet or a night fountain for her kids. [Doesn’t have kids; she’s a modern career woman.] Once candle light, cloth napkins, silver, crystal, and the understanding of grapes is lost, love itself is in danger. Backpacking, fur trading , or exotic dancing is something she might want to consider. I have seen more chivalry eating MREs [?] with other Marines in winter,than will ever be cultivated in folks like this.”May all those who profit when she buys or sells, find their real estate in hell.”

    Robert Reavis

  3. Dan Maguire

    Sheryl Crow is a loyal republicrat servant who sang in her weak, nasal voice for John Kerry in ’04. Because, like, she’s with the good guys and cares about the planet and stuff.

    She may have back-tracked on the toilet paper idea. I thought I heard something about her saying “it was a joke”. I don’t know. But she’s a joke all right.

    I confess that I was fooled in 1994 by “All I Wanna Do”, which I thought was a catchy, clever song. It turns out that she didn’t write it. She has a wide audience for her “work”. Good for her. Hopefully her audience will never have to live with her non-music ideas.

  4. Alex

    Kind of funny, but environmentalists don’t understand how the world works. If there is a shortage in water, price will reflect it. Of course, the environmentalists and liberals will then complain about the fascist capitalistic system that has become greedy, needs more regulation, etc.

    Thing is, prices and scarcity–and capitalism–is actually about reality. Perhaps a good indication of how out of touch with reality Karl Marx was that he described it with a political system. Capitalism isn’t political nor arbitrary; it’s reality. Socialism, on the other hand…

    Anyway. Just some random thoughts running through my head. Environmentalists remind me of socialists, and thats what got me going. I just didn’t feel like analyzing something ridiculous from Crowe.

  5. james huggins

    Ilana, MREs are the standard field rations for the military. Comes in water proof pouches and is reputed to be superior to the rations of the old days. K rations, C rations, Spam etc.

  6. Pam Maltzman

    The acronym “MRE” stands for, I think, “Meal(s) Ready to Eat.”

    As for Ms. Crow, well… no one who has actually ever run out of toilet paper would do anything except STOCK UP ON IT so that one always has enough of it. ‘Nuff said.

  7. Pam Maltzman

    Ms. Crow can take the toilet paper away when she’s ready to pry it from my cold, dead fingers, to paraphrase those of us who believe in self-defense.

  8. Tom Duncan

    I think what she was really is getting at but afraid to mention is she uses her sleeve in the bathroom. Why else would you attach it to your shirt sleeve when most people already have a cloth napkin next to their knife and fork. Piture her infomercial on TV… that’s a scarry thought.

Comments are closed.