printThis week’s column, “Warning: Postal Worker Coming to A Clinic Near You,” is too lyrical for my liking. Nevertheless, if I’ve learned anything as a writer, it is the power of a personal story.
So do read about the latest incident in “a seven-year saga” at my local branch of the United States Postal Service.
The incident “was no more than a sadistic display of power, honed in a state monopoly, where captive ‘customers’ are pinned down like butterflies by ‘service providers.’ The discretion left to such petty tyrants is wide—fear of being fired minimal, if non-existent.”
“Just you wait until a postal worker of this caliber, subject to the same disincentives, is in charge of determining whether to schedule your emergency CAT Scan (or maybe not). You don’t wish to set that cat among the poor pigeons. These will be the very beasts rising out of the sea of statism unleashed by a government-controlled healthcare system.”
To get a glimpse of President Camacho’s post office, read “Warning: Postal Worker Coming to A Clinic Near You,” now up on WND.COM, and on Taki’s Magazine every weekend.
Update I (Sept. 4): Presumably, everyone who reads this blog has watched “Idiocracy.” It’s compulsory. I mention in “Warning: Postal Worker Coming to A Clinic Near You,” that the dialogue with “sour-Asian-lady-who-speaks-in-tongues” and “rude-African-American-guy” was precisely the kind of dialogue Joe Bauers, the protagonist in Mike Judge’s superb satire “Idiocracy,” had conducted with the “‘tarded” doctor character. Here’s a snippet (make sure to click on the sound clips for full effect):
Doctor (Justin Long): “Hey, how’s it hang, ese?”
Doctor: “Well, don’t wanna sound like a d-ck or nothin’, but, uh, it says on your chart that you’re bleeped up. Uh, you talk like a fag, and your sh-t’s all retarded. What I do is just like, like, you know… like, you know what I mean? Like– (chuckles)”
Joe: “No, I’m serious here.”
Doctor: “Don’t worry, scrot. Now, there are plenty of ‘tards out there living really kick-ass lives. My first wife was ‘tarded.” She’s a pilot now.
Joe: “I need for you to be serious for a second here, okay? I need help.”
Doctor: “There’s that fag talk we talked about.”
Update II (Sept. 5): THE RACE ROT. Before I address Mr. Davis’ fabulous letter, hereunder, which also rejects the “bigot” epithet another reader attached to me, check the column on Taki’s Magazine, where Richard Spencer, the young, hip (and dashing) editor posted a picture of the “‘tard” doc, screaming when he discovers Joe is an “unscannable.” I can’t get enough of “Idiocracy.”
Back to the cast in the column. “Sour-Asian-lady-who-speaks-in-tongues”: Yes, too many native Americans speak bad English, but not all speak in tongues. Ignoring her “heritage” would have made the column forced, artificial and phony.
Next: “Who ya gonna call? Ghost Busters!” Indeed, who did I call on to rescue me from the Asian service clerk? The African-American gentleman. At least I thought he was one. I asked sourpuss to call him because he had struck me on a previous session in the “coven” as standing head-and-shoulders above the rest in his pleasant, professional demeanor (and he was certainly buff). He turned out to be a “‘tard.”
Had I been concerned with race—or even prone to thinking in such terms—I would have mentioned that the “feral female PO devotee” who accosted me on my way out was white. Or that the sweet young woman who took the initiative and rescued me was Hispanic.
I did neither. When you tell a story, some facts contribute to the narrative; others don’t. If anything, shying away from these descriptions rings false and racist. I wrote spontaneously. I was plotting neither a PC or an un-PC piece.
I’m an individualist. However, I have also said the following in this interview with Dr. David Yeagley:
“Broad statements about aggregate group characteristics, provided they are substantiated by hard evidence, not hunches, are not incorrect. Science relies on the ability to generalize to the larger population observations drawn from a representative sample. People make prudent decision in their daily lives as to where to invest scarce and precious resources—to wit, one’s life and property—based on probabilities and generalities.”
So while I treat each and every person on his merit, I do not shy away from speaking openly about demographic data.
I once lamented that, “We used to be able to joke about stereotypes without shrieking, ‘racism, Anti-Semitism,’ ‘Occidentalism,’ ‘Orientalism,’ ‘Eurocentrism,’ and that, “There is some truth to them.”
As much as I like to say mine’s worse, I must admit that your tale of USPS woes is worse than anything I have ever experienced or even heard of in the SA postal service. Not even our notorious Home Affairs workers are such profound trolls.
ilana Mercer writes
“The hold-up was no more than a sadistic display of power, honed in a state monopoly, where captive “customers” are pinned down like butterflies by “service providers.” The discretion left to such petty tyrants is wide – fear of being fired minimal, if non-existent.”
One of the best statements on how the government distorts the free market.
Is Barry really a closet free market advocate ?
“UPS and FedEx are doing just fine. It’s the Post Office that’s always having problems.”
Next time one of you wants to send something oversees, just get a mule to carry it for you.
Dear Ilana, I am sorry that you were treated so badly at the post office, because I think you are a wonderful addition to this country and I hope you will stay and continue to write. I haven’t had quite that bad of an experience in the po’s I’ve been in, I occasionally actually meet a friendly worker, but that might be because of the smaller towns I’ve lived in. I totally agree with you though that that kind of treatment is what we have to look forward to if they take over the medical system. I seem to find that rude attitude more at the Dept of Motor Vehicles or the licencing bureau, every time I have to go there I just endure it, thankful that I don’t have to go more than once every few years.
Well, to refute the idiotic woman who told you to go back to your own country, I say welcome to America and I hope we get more people like you.
This is largely why I avoid all bastions of government “service” as much as possible. The idiocy is not limited to government, though, as I have suffered to poor management of the apartment complex I’ve lived in for the past three years. I have moved out recently, but my wife and I are still dealing with those morons today.
Isn’t Government run anything just grand.?
You wouldn’t believe what they do to mail carriers, the ‘tards are clearly running the asylum.
Given the Postal Service’s bent to drive otherwise civil people to “go postal” I can only imagine the gun play that will ensure at a government health clinic coming to a neighborhood near you.
The feral female said, “They [USPS] do what they do for a reason. This is how we do it in America. If you don’t like it, go back to where you came.”
What this whole episode demonstrates is what Pat Buchanan meant when he correctly suggested it was much easier to assimilate a million english speakers like Ilana Mercer than 10 current United States postal workers into the current polyglot, boarding house, melting pot that was once upon a time, a real country. I for one am happy you are here and found almost every line you wrote consistent with my own experience. Except the ferals don’t tell me to go back to my own country(they have occupied and destroyed what was once my own country) they simply say,”If you don’t like it, go to hell. Next person, please!” I just can’t wait to be treated by these “doctors of the heart and soul of AMERICU” in the coming years. Great article !!
I’m going to pass this to a few USPS friends. They are always quick to note that the USPS takes no tax money, is run like a business, and other such nonsense.
Let’s trade educated South Africans for our pidgin-speaking parasitic class.
While the TV show “family Guy” is somewhat infantile, there was a delightful episode in which it is explained that the DMV was created by blacks to get back at the white man!
With all due respect…. you are a bigot
4Sep09
Each USPS is assigned one ugly minded person to serve as an working example to maintain the reputation of the service. It seems that this was your lucky day!
Most of these paradigms appear to have some genetic material in common with politicians.
As a once patriotic and proud American (of the IDEAL America, that is), I am ashamed and appalled at what we have become.
Several years ago, I was living in Germany and was on line at a German store behind a group of American women. I was so ashamed of their behavior and how they were treating the German clerk. Acting like this while they were in someone else’s country? They were supposed to be representing us Americans! I was so embarrassed that I pretended not to be an American and spoke German to the store clerk to hide that I was an American. I was shocked back then. I’m no longer shocked by Americans’ behavior and lack of tact. [I had the exact experience traveling back to the US, my home, from the UK–“feral American females” and their kids screaming at the top of their voices, dominating the terminal. In their universe, only they/Americans existed.]
I am so sorry that you had to experience this here. Please do not think that all Americans act like these animals.
I am disheartened but also outraged at your treatment at a Post Office. I left the P.O. 12yrs. ago where I worked as a window clerk for 19yrs., it was a small office with only 4 people including the Postmaster. No way would we have been allowed to treat a customer in such a manner. We would’ve been pulled off the window, reprimanded and probably written up and suspended. But this was a small town where we chatted with customers, did favors for one another, in fact we were more like a general store of yesteryear where people came in to exchange news. We set out Christmas cookies for the customers and they brought us boxes of candy to share. In just one instance one of my customers had an ill dog and I loaned her my cage to keep her dog in to recuperate. I picked up stray animals with collars on and called the people to come to the P.O. to pick them up. One foreigner couple who had such trouble communicating and mailing a package properly was so grateful for our help came back from vacation with gifts for us from the country they had visited. We filled out forms for people who had trouble reading the small print or ANYTHING they had trouble with. If they came to mail after closing and the carrier hadn’t picked up the mail yet we took their mail thru the sidedoor and got it out that day. This was routine. We had SERVICE, we treated them as FRIENDS and vice versa. I am embarrassed Ilana you were treated in such a bad manner and I, too, have been treated terribly in other post offices. I think the days of the way my office was run are just about gone and more’s the pity. Too bad you hadn’t been in my office years ago, you would’ve been treated like a queen and become our friend.
[When I first arrived in the US there was a woman at the PO who resembled you in attitude, intelligence and demeanor. A lovely smart lady. Soon she “disappeared.”]
P.S. I should clarify that tho our office was small we were busy and did over a million dollars worth of business a year. We weren’t rural and waited on only a few people a day but many. We also had a thousand post office boxholders. We were quite busy but always found time for our friends the customers. I still think of them and miss them. When I left I had a write-up in the local newspaper and also the newspaper printed my farewell message to all my customers. I suppose those days are gone forever.
Uhmmm… if the postal piece was a little to lyrical for your liking, then certainly this is too frivolous for mine. I can’t explain why (exactly) the postal piece prodded my funny bone in this (admittedly) bizarre fashion. All I know is a friend and I were discussing the old, cartoon classics just the other day and we discovered we were both huge fans of Super Chicken, which had one of the funniest and catchiest theme songs of the era. To get the full effect of the attached, whimsical parody written in your honor, one would need to review the Super Chicken theme song which may be viewed here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKss2pBYQ6Y
The lyric is woefully flat without the appropriate tune. I confess to more than a little guilt for commingling this with such serious commentary.
Still, it might be good for a chuckle (and who can’t use a few more chuckles these days?)
(It could have been worse, my accentuated friend, the little tribute/parody was originally entitled… Super Chick)
Super Mercer
When you’re with a bureaucrat
And threatened with an I.Q. that
Can make a worsening situation worser
There is someone who will write
And analyze the awful plight
Just ca-a-all for Super Mercer
No longer will she quiet overlook it
And she knew the job was dangerous when she took it…
She is smart and super saucy
Will not brook the rude or bossy
There is no one more concise or terser
There is one thing we should learn
When there is no one else to turn to
Just ca-a-a-ll for Super Mercer
Ca-a-a-ll for Super Mercer!!!
As a current USPS employee I apologize for the rude behavior of my co-workers. I have worked for the post office for over 30 years and have seen many who take their job as a position of power and then treat customers, employees and colleagues with disdain. Although these people are everywhere there does seem to be an unusually high percentage of them in the post office. But there are some polite, hard working, accomodating people in the post office. We just aren’t running things, nor the country.
Dear Ilana,
Responding to your article ‘Warning: Postal worker coming to a clinic near you’. Your experience with bureaucratic mediocrity reminds me of the film title, ‘The good, the bad and the ugly’. The problem is that you got the bad and ugly with good left out. Clearly, you made the point as to why government and bureaucrats should both be as rare as possible. The American founders understood such things. Modern American citizens often do not and thus tolerate shoddy treatment when they should not.
However, if I may make the observation, in actuality good was there, as good often is, having to withstand abuse at the hands of the bad and the ugly…you are someone very good about America and we Americans should be very pleased that you make domicile here and write to remind us of better things and better days.
I read and enjoy your columns in WND. I truly DO sympathize with your feelings about the USPS. I, too, have had my run ins. Four years ago, I went to the post office to pick up a package. The line was over 20 people long and only one clerk was “working.” As I finally edged my way in the door, I happened to be at an angle where I could see into the interior of the building. What did I see? A postal worker with a radio up to his ear, dancing away. I happened to catch his eye and made a motion for him to come and get my slip or at least to come to the window and begin to help other customers. He simply shrugged and turned away. I filed a complaint with the local postmaster, who in turned referred me to the Post Master General of the U.S. in Washington. I sent my complaint four years ago and am still waiting for a reply. You are not alone!
If perhaps some of you out there have not yet experienced the “plain stupidity” that Ilana has had to tolerate for the past 7 years at her local US postal de jure, you may have had your taste of petty Tyrants at your local DMV office.
Over the years I have developed a strategy in how to deal with these little Himmler’s. Sparing you of any historical details, what do I do when I encounter resistance to common sense and fairness? I politely retreat, get back in line, go to another branch or office, come back when the “sour ethnic lady” is not working, and so on… until I finally hear the words “Sure no problem sir, I can do that for you”.
How refreshing it is when I encounter a “Civil Service” worker who is willing to break the rules for the sake of common sense, fairness and respect.
How is it that one woman is so witty, thoughtful, precise, lucid and beautiful??? Ilana is the most interesting columnist on WND for sure.
At the risk of being labeled, “bigot,” as well, I think that there is a role played by ethnicity and race, as well as the location of the USPS facility. For example, last year I mailed many heavy packages from a mid-sized, bi-cultural city and I received excellent help making sure they were wrapped properly by a USPS employee of the other ethnicity. This year, among a number of trips for simple mailing tasks to a facility in a large, multicultural metropolitan area, I was not only forced to interpret Asian pidgin English, but was also treated in a manner that made me think my patronage was not valued–which of course, it wasn’t!
Wow. On behalf of all sane Americans, I say you’re welcomed here; and we need more competent, thinking people like you in this country. I apologize for the surly obnoxiousness of the PO personnel that you have had to endure for 7 hard years. I can personally attest to your woes, for I have come to the depressing realization that I work in a 85% ghetto-feral colony of some of the most unhousebroken, adult mammals that I have ever be forced to refer to as coworkers, in all my 19 years of employment. I am a Window/Distribution Clerk for the USPS, who has been told by several customers that I am one of the happiest postal workers they have ever met. I understand why they tell me this because I work with some of the “true-living-horror-stories” that you have so skillfully described in your blog. The feral Postal customer, who sneered their mangy suggestion that you should depart this country, basically declared the abysmal depths of their own ignorance. It’s not like you were asking “Madame Sour-Dour” to do anything that was impossible or inappropriate. You were only asking that she Do Her Job Correctly, which is what the more pleasant clerk was able, or to be more accurate, was WILLING to do. I am African American, and I saw nothing bigoted about your article. Your descriptions accurately describe the reprehensibly miserable attitudes of some government workers, regardless of race or agency. I understood that your references to the races were made to describe and distinguish the people you were discussing, and nothing more. I enjoyed your blog. My sister and I read it and belly-laughed all the way through it!
[Wonderful letter. You are a saint to retain your good cheer among your “colleagues.” You’ve given me a few laughs: “unhousebroken.” That’s classic.]
I’m heading to Chicago on business so I went to the USPS to stop mail and a nice guy collected the stuff from people on line to take into the back room and process so I was out in about 1 minute – amazing. But, even if you get some bad USPS idiots, at least they cannot arrest you. [I’m not so sure.] The same cannot be said for the yogurt-confiscating, boob-fondling, psychotics known as the TSA whose sole existence is to prove Franklin’s dictum: “They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety”. I will encounter the goon squad on Tuesday and Thursday. My (federal) coworker was screamed at and threatened with arrest if he did not go BACK to the beginning of the security line and re-enter after they confiscated his killer toothpaste tube. The Israelis laugh at our ineptitude.
Unfortunately, even semi-decent people will sink to the surly level expected of them by “the system” whether it is the DMV, USPS, TSA, “public schools”, a medical practice, or the MIT Physics Department. I have watched somewhat normal human beings become completely arrogant burnouts within the span of a few years.
This is timely.
A few months ago I witnessed an encounter at my local post office. It was between a South African and a local postal worker. The South African was bellowing at the worker about getting the manager; the postal worker was standing his ground.
I have no idea what precipitated the incident. I walked in while it was unfolding. I was there to retrieve a certified letter. I had visions of fisticuffs erupting or worse, so I left as quickly as possible.
I have a suggestion for Ilana and others.
Rent a postal box at one of those outlets that handle US mail and FedEx and UPS shipping. Life will be simpler and less stressful. And you will avoid the chance of fisticuffs.
Reading Myron’s comments and recalling my own experience traveling to Israel from Athens on El Al, I think that the Israelis have every right to “laugh at our ineptitude.” They use “profiling,” whereas we do not. They are looking for certain “types,” it seems, which appeared to include young (at the time) ladies like me, self-identifying as Christians but traveling solo, with no church group, and boarding a plane from a particular city that had been a notorious point of embarkation in the past. My Israeli interlocutor’s rapid-fire questions reduced me to tears in less than a minute, after which he apologized. Rather than pegging this as “anti-Christian discrimination” I thought of it, when I recovered, in the legitimate terms of wishing to protect the lives of passengers on board, at least. Far better than our TSA, who manhandle elderly ladies for their presumed “threat” to us all on domestic, US flights.
But maybe with the post office, it’s different; and if a particular facility is notorious for poor, inefficient treatment, perhaps all customers will be treated equally badly.