printI want working for government to be one of the most dangerous jobs ever (unfortunately, the honest work of fishermen earns that distinction). So here’s my Swiftian suggestion:
Yes to radical affirmative action in the secret service. Not only should women and minorities be well-represented among the parasites’ security details; but they should be overrepresented.
Adjust admission tests, physical and cognitive, to rule out all so-called (wink-wink) cultural or gender bias. In other words, make the tests easier, or admit the desired gender and race with lower scores. Drop the IQ requirements by two standard deviations! And a bull’s eye on the target be damned. The new-intake shooters don’t need to drop an attacker; they can settle for grazing him.
ALSO, support the super obese for the secret service too! Smother the sons-of-guns in mountains of protective flesh, female, male or other.
Sen. Susan Collins (R-Maine), ranking member of the Senate Homeland Security and Government Affairs Committee, would approve. Sen. Collins “suggested Sunday that the problem [of prostitute abuse] could have been averted if more women were on duty.”
UPDATE: In reply to reader on Facebook. Satire is lost on most of my readers. Follow the link to find out what “swiftian” means: A Modest Proposal.
The Flipside of Feminism: What Conservative Women Know And Men Can’t Say http://bit.ly/dOYusR
Susan Collins is a buffoon.
I doubt very much if she even rides the subway in Washington, D.C.
She can get all the “diversity” on the platforms and in the cars of each train.
Idiot.
Ilana, what you call satire is perfectly logical to ditzes like Susan Collins.
hehe that was funny. Yes, I saw Sen. Collins and heard her ridiculous solution to the problem — more diversity. Typical Leftist drone.
Personally, I would disband all government special protective services. If our employees think they need bodyguards, let them pay for them out of their own pockets, not the tax payer’s. Politicians fearing the citizens would be a good thing.
Haha….I got the satire, Mrs. Mercer. It sounded like something that could have been in the film Idiotocracy.
Ilana writes “go ape”….and she objects to “chimp-out”??
[“She” deleted the last for taste. The former, “go ape,” is a legitimate phrase in the English language.]