Bernhard Barfed

Left-Liberalism And Progressivisim, The Zeitgeist

“In promoting MAC’s ‘Plushglass’ lip potion, [Sandra Bernhard] referred to the prototypic Republican woman as a ‘little freaked out, intimidated, frightened, right-wing, thin-lipped bitch.’ This, presumably, is in contrast to her own centered, courageous, larger-than-life, left-wing, and lush-lipped persona.
Bernhard’s slur, the focus of conservative ire, however, isn’t the salient feature in this coarse creature’s shtick. Her delivery is: its contents; her demeanor — everything about this woman is sickening. Allow me to talk you through the MAC ad, which I’ve transcribed verbatim. If it appears disjointed and nonsensical, it’s because this folderol is intended as a bit of choppy, esoteric, performance poetry.”

The excerpt is from my latest weekly, WorldNetDaily column, “Bernhard Barfed.”

Fem's Feral Fangs Exposed

Feminism, Gender, Media

My column tonight is about MAC’s new mug. To those who want to watch the object of my philippic, knock yourself out. But be warned: it’s ugly (tonight’s column will salve, I promise). In any event, the unpleasant sub-topic of my column being ugly mouths, I’ve noticed that so many American women are cursed with those. If it’s not “misshapen, bulbous lips,” acquired in the rooms of plastic surgeons, to quote my forthcoming column, then it’s a snarling upper lip stretched over exposed teeth, so that while the woman yaps, her fangs are exposed like those of a feral animal. Now I’m not talking about the commendable American attention to dentitionyou know, that Austin Powers look. (Here are some amusing comments about the “Anglo-American dental gap.”) That’s a good thing; a function of our wealth. What I’m speaking of is a kind of deformity of facial bones, really, or at least an unappealing feature, conjuring painter Willem de Kooning’s portrayals. Paula Zahn, Monica Crawley, Sheryl Crow (who seems as sweet as she is untalented), Margaret Carlson, and many otherswatch them speak. They struggle to zip their lips over their (formidably big) teeth when talking.

Fem’s Feral Fangs Exposed

Feminism, Gender, Media

My column tonight is about MAC’s new mug. To those who want to watch the object of my philippic, knock yourself out. But be warned: it’s ugly (tonight’s column will salve, I promise). In any event, the unpleasant sub-topic of my column being ugly mouths, I’ve noticed that so many American women are cursed with those. If it’s not “misshapen, bulbous lips,” acquired in the rooms of plastic surgeons, to quote my forthcoming column, then it’s a snarling upper lip stretched over exposed teeth, so that while the woman yaps, her fangs are exposed like those of a feral animal. Now I’m not talking about the commendable American attention to dentitionyou know, that Austin Powers look. (Here are some amusing comments about the “Anglo-American dental gap.”) That’s a good thing; a function of our wealth. What I’m speaking of is a kind of deformity of facial bones, really, or at least an unappealing feature, conjuring painter Willem de Kooning’s portrayals. Paula Zahn, Monica Crawley, Sheryl Crow (who seems as sweet as she is untalented), Margaret Carlson, and many otherswatch them speak. They struggle to zip their lips over their (formidably big) teeth when talking.

JF Kennedy the Realist

Bush, Politics

“And we must face the fact that the United States is neither omnipotent or omniscient ‘that we are only 6 percent of the world’s population’ that we cannot impose our will upon the other 94 percent of mankind — that we cannot right every wrong or reverse every adversity — and that therefore there cannot be an American solution to every world problem.”

— John F. Kennedy, U.S. President

Contrast these words with Dubya’s latest word salad at a press conference. “Democracy a la Dubya” will help put the finishing touches to the portrait of a fanatic. As will “What a Moronic Presidential Press Conference.”