UPDATE VIII: Congress: Call Off Your TSA Attack Dogs! (‘Don’t Touch My Junk’)

Constitution,Fascism,Government,Homeland Security,Ilana Mercer,Natural Law,Racism,Regulation,South-Africa,Terrorism,The State

Here are bits-and-pieces from “Congress: Call Off Your TSA Attack Dogs,” my latest, WND column:

“When the large African-American woman—in the employ of the American taxpayer to torment the same subjects at the Miami International Airport—summoned me with a crooked finger for a pat down, I thought of the film ‘Midnight Express.’ And in particular, the scene where Billy Hayes’ far-from-delightful Turkish jailer schemes to enjoy some time alone with the young American. My tormentor wore the same sadistic, atavistic expression. Her giant digits were soon upon my chest and between my legs. …

… The attractiveness variable is, however, a statistical outlier; a red herring that should not form the focus of an uprising at the airports. To counter the salacious, if spurious, sexual angle, the TSA could easily produce accurate evidence of the equal number of attacks perpetrated on feeble, little old men and their wives. It would appear that this cross-section of the population is as likely to be targeted by TSA terrorists as is the attractive, distaff demographic.

“I’ve watched dozens of documented attacks, or accounts thereof, on YouTube. If the footage is at all representative, attractiveness is not the salient feature of the victims. The sex-appeal tack will, invariably, invite evidentiary exculpation: ‘See, I attacked grandpa, too; I’m all about the random.’ You don’t want the TSA’s hounds to be fair in their pursuit of the American people; you want them to cease and desist it. And you want individual culprits and their higher-ups publicly exposed and punished.”

If the countless YouTube clips I’ve cringed through are in any way typical occurrences – then what we have here are affirmatively appointed federal recruits, loosed upon meek, mild-mannered, mainstream Americans. What is salient about the assailed is that they are, from what I’ve observed, members of the pilloried and pliant majority.

This onslaught is a quest for submission, not sex. …”

The complete column is “Congress: Call Off Your TSA Attack Dogs,” now on WND.COM.

I know some of you are waiting for the publication of Into The Cannibal’s Pot: Lessons For America From Post-Apartheid South Africa. It’s turning out to be quite the ordeal. At least one publisher is still considering my controversial manuscript. If this fails, fear not; someone clever and courageous will see to it that the true story of the New South Africa (“Rambo Nation”) is told. (And that a good book, if a little different, is published.)

So far, two magnificent men (as writers, thinkers, and human beings) have already returned Praise For The Cannibal. Thank you. You know who you are. What touched me so was the speed with which both gentlemen returned their blurbs. They seemed to sense the urgency of my mission (and I like to think that the thing was a page-turner). How refreshing to encounter towering talents who do not inhabit the solipsistic universe in which most American “writers” (and publishers) are mired.

But I digress.

Until The Cannibal sees the light of day, please make do with my libertarian manifesto, Broad Sides: One Woman’s Clash With A Corrupt Society.

The Second Edition features bonus material and reviews. Get your paper copy (or copies) now! Broad Sides is also available on Kindle.

UPDATE I (Nov. 12): In reply to “becky willard’s” dismay at my mentioning the race of the large woman who “touched me inappropriately.” Oh, but this fact is very germane to the column and to the topic. I would have added that in the “the countless YouTube clips I’ve cringed through” for this column, the victims were all “members of the pilloried and pliant majority.” My dear, that’s code for you know who… But I can’t say, because, well, we don’t speak of reverse racial hatred, now do we?!

Please correct me, “Y’all.” Send me documentation and YouTube footage of Brothers, Sisters and robe-clad Muslims being frisked and tormented. Please. I wish to be proven wrong.

UPDATE II: NATURAL RIGHTS; NOT SECTIONAL PRIVILEGES. Here is what the agents of the TSA, now “lobbying hard for law-enforcement power,” do when travelers express dissent (Via Salon.com.:


A supervisor ambled over and I explained my case. “Put it in writing and send it to Washington,” was his advice. I got the impression that he more or less agreed with me, but as a front-line worker at the airport he had little say in actual policy or how to enforce it. That’s fair enough, though it did not excuse his colleague’s rudeness and hair-trigger temper.

Imagine that woman with actual law-enforcement power. Or a weapon.

Reportedly TSA is lobbying hard for law-enforcement power, and that it could happen is something worth worrying about. Speak out, or speak up, and you’ll be arrested. Protest the TSA’s rules, or demand an explanation as to why a guard is taking your belongings or possibly violating your rights, and you’ll be locked up.

The problem with this pilot’s account is that the man seems to believe that, “Essential liberty” is the preserve of “a pilot,” because of his position in the flying world hierarchy. Salon would probably agree.

The same cloistered, sectional concerns vis-a-vis natural liberties typify one 2,000-strong, flight attendant’s union, which has been fielding tons of complaints from its members. mauled and violated passengers to not fit the bill.

Liberty doesn’t have an exclusionary clause attached, unless you think, in error, that the state is the source of your freedoms.

UPDATE III: Via Randall Holcombe (a libertarian acquaintance):

The Fourth Amendment to the Constitution reads, “The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.”

I am not an attorney, but my common sense tells me that the TSA was asking Mr. Roberts to undergo an unreasonable search without probable cause. If the government can’t tell you, “Here’s why we suspect you, and here’s what we expect to find when we search,” then as I read the Constitution, the search is unconstitutional.

UPDATE IV: Here go those “sectional interests” again (see Update II in this post): Noelle Nikpour is a Republican consultant and strategist who talks frequently and tediously on Sean Hannity’s Great American Panel. This evening she suggested that people like herself and her co-panelists—you know, important people who fly a lot—should be able to acquire a permit that’ll exempt them from being screened afresh as they scurry to their important appearances.

What an exquisite understanding of rights this Republican exhibits. All in all, the Republicans like the police state.

UPDATE V (Nov. 13): Writes my mother-in-law:

“Dear Ilana, have now read this week’s article in full and can sympathize with people going through Security in USA. We have had some of this ourselves going from Airport to Airport in US – each stop we were singled out for ‘Special Treatment’; found the ‘Special Treatment Forces’ obnoxious (administered by, mostly, what you call ‘minorities’), sporting the look of ‘we got the power’ on their faces – no smile, no polite exchange – no nothing. We were herded like sheep and treated as such – in fact sheep might well have fared better.

Found the Security, Immigration etc., in Holland for example – thorough but very polite. USA is paranoid and to my mind have taken it way too far. There must be other ways to ensure safety on Aircraft without making the Public feel like criminals. It’s disgusting treatment and quite unnecessary.

It is however quite necessary in this day and age for Airlines to ensure safe flying – we all want a safe flight wherever we go but there are ways and ways. The Public in general have no objection to security searches for baggage or their person, but it’s the manner in which it is done that is so disgusting.”


UPDATE VI: This image says it all. The work of Dean Shaddock, via Derek.

UPDATE VII (Nov. 14): Yet more arguments for rights based on occupational privileges. Via the WaPo:

“The Air Line Pilots Association, which represents 53,000 employees with 38 U.S. and Canadian airlines, said it is working with federal agencies to create an exception for pilots who have been subjected, they said, ‘to a long line of ever-increasing security measures that have frustrated and burdened.'”


Peter Rez, a professor of physics at Arizona State University, disagrees. Rez has independently calculated the radiation doses of backscatter scanners using the images produced by the machines.
“I came to the conclusion that although low, the dose was higher than they said,” he said.
Based on his analysis, Rez estimates each scan produces radiation equivalent to 10 to 20 minutes of flight.
In April, four science and medical faculty members at the University of California, San Francisco, sent a letter to the director of the White House Office of Science and Technology Policy expressing concerns about potentially serious health risks related to the X-ray scanners.
In the letter they claimed there could be risks to various population segments, including children, senior citizens and women susceptible to breast cancer. The group also called for a clear screening policy for pregnant women once possible risks to the fetus are known. The group wants a review of existing data and recommendations for additional study by an independent panel of scientific experts.


“‘There is good reason to believe that these scanners will increase the risk of cancer to children and other vulnerable populations,’ a group of scientists from the University of California at San Francisco informed the White House.”


In the past decade, terrorists on airplanes have killed just about 3,000 people — all on one day. Even if the Christmas Day bomber had succeeded, the number would be under 3,500.
Those are horrible deaths. But in that same period, more than 150,000 people have been murdered in the United States. We haven’t put the entire U.S. on lockdown — or even murder capitals like Detroit, New Orleans and Baltimore.
While reducing the murder rate to zero is very desirable, we also understand that the costs, in terms of liberty and resources, are too great. But when it comes to air travel, 9/11 seems to have stripped away our ability to put things in perspective.

UPDATE VIII: “If you touch my junk, I’ll have you arrested.”

24 thoughts on “UPDATE VIII: Congress: Call Off Your TSA Attack Dogs! (‘Don’t Touch My Junk’)

  1. becky willard

    i happened upon your column off a news site, i believe. i rarely fly and was fascinated by your anecdotes. this is certainly an issue that needs to be discussed.

    however, i am troubled and saddened by your twice using “large african-american woman” as a description. why do you feel the need to identify someone as either large or african-american? i think it detracts from your well-written and important column.

    i’m really not a knee-jerk kind of person.

    thank you,
    becky willard
    austin, tx

  2. Andries

    I hope you send a copy to Vox Day. He seems to underestimate the value of what happened here in SA and how it can serve as a warning/vision of what America can expect in the next few decades.

  3. james huggins

    Affirmatively appointed federal minions loosed on the pilloried and pliant majority. That’s the way our society now works, whether in or out of airports. You missed the boat on “Cannibal’s Pot”. You should have written about Lindsay Lohan’s poodle’s hairdresser. You would be a New York Times best seller by now.

  4. james huggins

    If physical attractiveness figures in the equation then I could probably smuggle a John Deere tractor on an airliner and not be noticed.

  5. Myron Pauli

    I suggest that we enact a Constitutional Amendment to read: The right of the people to be SECURE IN THEIR PERSONS, houses, papers, and effects, against UNREASONABLE SEARCHES AND SEIZURES, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

    Even Israel (Zionist entity for you moderates!) doesn’t do this nonsense. I might understand having the technology against people traveling from Yemen with no business in America like Umar Underpantsabomba – but pilots, American children traveling domestically with their parents, uniformed military, civilians with DoD common access cards, elderly couples traveling domestically require strip searches! This is not probably cause, this is not reasonable suspicion, this is downright freaking nuts!

    One would think that even stupid Republicans or some civil libertarian Democrats in Congress would reign in this Buffoonish-Gestapo but they are too busy protecting Goldman-Sachs and ethanol subsidies to give a hoot about ordinary Americans being abused. The courts care more about illegal aliens and 17 year old sadistic murderers than the rights of law-abiding Americans. And TSA has NEVER caught a single “terrorist” to date.

  6. David Smith

    I’ll allow that there are folks among us, in and out of government service, who sincerely believe this is all part and parcel of keeping us safe from terrorism, naive and inaccurate as that view may be. Nevertheless, we are past the point where we can compliantly go along with such outrage, regardless of the intent. If we wish to be free people, we must be willing to do more than talk. Plaudits to those individuals and groups who have been in the vanguard of resistance against a government who, under the color of law, is in fact lawless; may their tribe increase!

  7. Mike Marks

    Had the TSA scan done in El Paso. This was before all the pu bliciity surrounding putting them at NYC Kennedy, etc. I suspected it was the scan from what I had seen earlier in the news from the early trial. Even after the scan I had my “pecs” patted which I thought was odd. Maybe I’m a bionic man and just don’t know it!

    I know I’m showing some humor about this but, I really don’t like the invasiveness of all. My memory is a little weak here but, I thought we were supposed to have unfettered travel between the states. Didn’t we used to brag that we had free travel between the states while the old Soviet Union did not. Correct me if I’m wrong here.

  8. RJ

    Couldn’t help but notice that the scenario you are describing is very similar to the US end of days scenario portrayed in “The Turner Diaries” book. Dont you hate it when the powers that be go out of their way to prove whacko’s right?

  9. Anonymous

    It’s instructive that the physical rousting worsened when TSA screeners’ livery changed from white shirts with embroidered insignia to police/military blue with golden badge and they went from being screeners to “Transportation Security Officers”. TSOs are now within a Sam Browne belt with a well-hung and ominous Taser of demanding cavity searches.

  10. Barbara Grant

    Myron mentions Israel, and I believe there’s a point to be made. When I traveled there several years ago, I was questioned by an El Al security representative as to my intentions in visiting the country and where I’d traveled in Europe prior to boarding the flight. His rapid-fire questions delivered like bullets reduced me to tears in a short time. He waved me through; then walked up to me afterward to apologize. I’d wondered what it was that prompted his line of questioning; I suspected that I might have seemed to fit a profile they were looking for.

    I don’t begrudge the Israelis one whit for taking the necessary steps to protect their security. The larger point: Israelis protect their security with trained personnel and profiling; we expect a similar result with untrained people and technology. Goons aligned with technology will never work. On Ms. Gotbaum, Arizonans well know that many people come to Tucson for addiction treatment and rehab. Had Phoenix airport officials recognized this fact, they might have seen Ms. Gotbaum as an individual in need of help, not a “security problem” they had to squelch.

  11. Robert Glisson

    Ms. Willard has a point Ilana. John Stossal had a guest last night. The Black gentleman said that he objected to the name African-American, He was born in the US, with a heavy tan. Your descriptive should have been “A large Black woman” To be a African-American, she would have had to be born in Africa and naturalized in America. Just a little humor on a Friday. I did watch the video tape of McCain, I ain’t never gonna fly commercial ever again.

  12. CompassionateFascist

    TSA? The other day I brought an elderly lady with a walker, two pieces of luggage to Santa Barbara airport in my cab. Raining. No sky cap. So I left the cab for two minutes to carry her luggage into the terminal. Within one minute, blaring loudspeakers announcing “unattended vehicle”, and when I get back out one of the Thousands Standing Around is slipping a $35 ticket under my wiper blade. Someday soon, I hope to speak to these people in a language they can understand.

  13. greenhell

    Your second update is important. I was happy when I first heard pilots were starting to push back, but soon found out that they didn’t care a wit for the passengers. Seeing them beg to retain a little freedom for themselves while throwing the rest to the wolves is unfortunate but not unexpected. May their planes soon be empty.

  14. David G


    Thanks for your column in WND today. I find it disturbing that instead of the government protecting its people, these dictatorial leaders accommodate our enemies by humiliating our citizens, and continue to use methods to eventually crush the spirit of the people. Grandpa and Grandma must be stripped and searched. Children must unpack their potentially “deadly” toys from their carry-on luggage (as my 8 and 9 year old kids were ordered to do at Sarasota Fl airport on a trip to South Africa where the TSA tyrants proceeded to confiscate a toy sponge-rubber knife).

    The possibility of a TSA agent who has porno lust filled fantasies dancing in his brain can randomly choose a good looking curvy shaped women to XXXray her so he can see her endowments while those who fit the description of terrorists freely walk by and board the airplane all in the name of political correctness.

    When I protested at the Sarasota airport as to why my children were being searched and Middle Eastern people dressed in their Islamic garb freely procceeded through the strip/search/pat down/grope/humiliate area, I was warned not to cause trouble. These despots in the TSA and Homeland Security brag how balanced and righteous we are as a nation because we would never profile Muslims.

    Similarly, South African authorities refuse to crush the enemy that rapes maims, pillages and kills. So a South African Oupa and Ouma have to install jail bars on doors, windows, and property boundaries, anti hijack systems and gearlocks in their vehicles and carry firearms in their purses to try to protect their lives. And woe be it unto them if they shoot and kill an African who tried to rape Ouma, or heal AIDS by raping an infant or a white virgin.

    You are correct when you state that the newly elected Republicans (just more of the same) should “stop the en masse molestation of the population.”

    I don’t see that happening.

    Best Regards,
    David G

  15. Myron Pauli

    Barb – the first time I landed in Israel, 4 goons grabbed me and took me into an interrogation room where I was asked quesstions for 20-30 minutes like what my nephews/neice did for a living (they were 5,3, and 2!), my “brother’s” phone number (I didn’t know – so they tried to trick me like Simon Says)… – but the point is that the Israelis look for the DANGEROUS PERSON – Umar/Abdul and don’t waste silly time on some 3 year old’s flip-flops or Rabbi Mendel’s yogurt or Granny’s leg-brace.

    The TSA not only does not catch ANYONE but they themselves create NEW VULNERABILITIES by crowding hundreds or more into densely packed security lines.

    The Twilight Zone had episodes of self-inflicted paranoia called The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street:


  16. Greg

    I first saw the story of the pilot who refused an x-ray on the weathwer channel before work in the morning. Al Roker basically said the guy was an idiot and the pilot should just do what the TSA wants him to do without question. That says alot about Roker.

  17. derek

    Here is a photo from the Detroit airport showing an elderly Catholic nun being “patted down” by a muslim TSA agent.

  18. Stephen W. Browne

    Heavy sigh.

    In my youth airline hijackings were largely by nut jobs demanding to be taken to the people’s paradise in Cuba.

    I remember an occasion I purchased a sheath knife in an airport shop. Since I’d already checked my luggage I asked a clerk if it was OK to take the knife on the flight with me.

    He replied, “Should be OK. Just don’t take it out and brandish it.”

    Flight proceeded without incident, knife in my jacket pocket.

    BTW when I was profiled in Richmond, VA airport, the white southern male officer politely asked me to remove my shoes (not standard then) and did a pat-down with gloves, explained what he was doing, and used the back side of his hands to run down the inseam.

    He then apologized for the inconvenience.

    I wondered why I’d been singled out, till it occurred to me a black-haired man who tans pretty swarthy, with a nose some have been unkind enough to call large (and when an Arab tells you you have a big nose, you have to face it…) a bunch of Arab stamps in his passport, and a surname that denotes an ethnicity which has produced its fair share of terrorists, there just might be a rational basis for a profile. [The name”Browne”? You lost me with that one.]

    A friend later asked, “Yeah but how’d you like to get profiled all the time?”

    “A hell of a lot better than I’d like to get blown out of the sky,” I said.

    However, since the heroes of United 93 and the passengers who jumped the Pantybomber, screening passengers is fighting the last war. No passengers are going to submit to a hijack-style attack ever again.

    Terrorists are going back to the old standby of attacking the plane through the luggage.

  19. Stephen W. Browne

    Browne with an “e” on the end is the variant spelling common in Ireland.

    Some of us in America cling to it to differentiate us from those who are merely English.

  20. derek

    Reading your site gives me hope that there are people out there with common sense. However, reading some of the comments at that flickr site with the photo of the Catholic nun brings me back to reality. So long as a significant part of our society holds views like those commenters, we are doomed.

  21. Roger Chaillet

    In other news….

    Didn’t the late Sam Francis call it “anarcho-tyranny”? http://www.vdare.com/francis/muzzle.htm

    Tomorrow I will drive to work here in Dallas. I will pass dozens of automobiles, pickups and SUVs, all occupied by illegal aliens from all 4 points of the compass. Many of these persons are convicted felons or soon to be convicted felons, and I’m not talking immigration violations. http://www.wfaa.com/news/Dallas-officer-attacked-by-DWI-suspect-107823109.html
    This is the “anarcho” part. Here are two more examples. http://www.wfaa.com/news/local/Two-killed-in-Bush-Turnpike-wreck-107954664.html and http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/metropolitan/7294280.html

    Readers already know about the tyranny.

    As for those who protest too much, I’d be extremely careful as to who I might upset. Wouldn’t want any blowback. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rigoberto_Alpizar

  22. Sean

    In a more civil age TSA creeps would be trampled by an angry mob for what they do to innocent travelers.

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