print(From a Maryland resident to his Senator)
The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes
309 Hart Senate Office Building
Washington DC , 20510
Dear Senator Sarbanes,
As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.
My primary reason for wishing to change my status from a U.S. Citizen to an illegal alien stems from the bill that was recently passed by the Senate, and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill’s provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I’ll need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.
Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I’m excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively?
¼br /> This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005. Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health-care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year. Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law-school applications, as well as “in-state” tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.
Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver’s license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college-age children driving my car.
If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.
Your Loyal Constituent,
Pete McGlaughlin
Get your Forms (NOW)! Call your Internal Revenue Service 1-800-289-1040. Please pass this onto your friends so they can save on this great offer too!!
Fantastic! This letter puts the entire issue into perspective.
If it turns out there are no forms to fill out to become an illegal alien, then perhaps all interested applicants could cross into Mexico, then cross back over as a new person! But wait, maybe not. It is my understanding that Mexico isn’t nearly so welcoming to illegal immigrants as is the US.
HA! I live in Maryland. I think I should send my own letter.
Haven’t you heard? The Government and Big Business are “secretly” putting into place an open border policy between Mexico and the US. This explains why nothing is done about the border problem and illegal immigration.
Mr. McGlaughlin, your frustrations are falling on deaf ears. That much should be obvious by now.
What I’m wondering is, does anybody see how seriously nutty this American agonizing about how we should treat border-jumpers is? Every country in the world takes as a given their right to control their borders – it’s pretty much what defines a nation. Apparently we have to be the exception.
And on a personal note, when I returned to the US I was separated from my wife and child for four months while the embassy followed their procedures for admitting people who follow the rules. This to say the least, does not inculcate sympathy for illegals in either of us.
Outrageous isn’t it?I thought about exactly that myself. As a U.S. Army Veteran, I cannot get medical care at my local V.A. beacuse they do not have the funds needed to offer any treatment.I am too young (61) to get Social Security and too old to get a decent job. As self employed for over thirty years, I do not qualify for unemployment. This idea of applying for “illegal Alien” status, sounds more appealing to me than anything else I have thought of.
Finally, we are doing whatever it takes to secure the Iraqi borders from any incoming people from Iran, Syria and other neighboring countries, yet, we cannot and refuse to secure our own borders? Insane.