Onward & Downward The Blond Squad



As was said over these pixelated pages, “brains are a hindrance to advancement in the age of the idiot; being a lightweight blond is helpful.” The blond squad is everywhere in American politics. Not even the libertarian faction—my own—has spared us the specter of a dime-a-dozen dames. Dumbing down is to the detriment of all.

Watch this clip of the cretin Carrie Prejean lord it over Larry King (who, I must say, behaves demurely and perfectly politely).

Can you say pretentious, plastic cow?

Whoopee Goldberg is correct. Here’s another empty head, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, defending the trail-blazing Prejean.

Blond-squad watch:

“Conservatives Add Another Blond To The Brain Trust”

A Cow Is Born

Elizabeth Hasselbeck

8 thoughts on “Onward & Downward The Blond Squad

  1. Mari Tyers

    Elizabeth Hasselbeck was good on the Style Channel’s “The Look for Less,” and that’s about it. Anywhere else she is a prime example of “The Peter Principle.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_principle

    As for Carrie Prejean, she was rude and obviously incompetent. Secrecy about the terms of a settlement are standard, why a person settled is not. Prejean came across as another dumb blonde. Why do gentelmen prefer blondes again?

  2. Myron Pauli

    If stupidity were energy, we’d be living in Utopia since there is no shortage! First, a gay judge (Perez Hilton) is hired to judge a beauty pageant (the usual boobjob anorexics…) – which is like having a vegetarian judging a steak cookout. Second, the gay judge asks the contestant her opinion on homosexual marriage, although such a question is as relevant to a beauty pageant as Prejean’s opinions on nuclear waste disposal, Objectivism, or medieval Popes. When Blondie does not endorse
    Hilton’s lifestyle, he axes her chances at Miss USA and brags about this to the world. This results in elevating nonentity Prejean to the Sarah Palin Endowed Chair of Blondology Christian Martyrdom and instant fame. From then on, it is a chronicle of semi-nude photos, managers, Donald Trump, and lawsuits.

    Of course, WHY does Larry King need this vapid nonentity on his show? Meanwhile, King asks her numerous times about the confidential non-disclosure agreement – she keeps refusing to answer and he keeps asking (duh – why did she agree?? – Answer: “FOR THE MONEY, HONEY”) and
    she gets in a tiff. But like Sistah Sarah, it doesn’t matter … for Carrie is a Righteous Christian Babe – HALLELUJAH!!

  3. cameron

    America’s obsession with blond women is odd.
    In Germany, where I lived for a long time, the majority of female celebrities are not blond.

  4. John Danforth

    Why do gentlemen prefer blondes?

    They love to show off their expensive toys.

    (I’m not that gentleman.)

    Really, what a beauty pageant contestant thinks about any social issue is about as important as what the politics of a guitar player are. I’m probably in the minority on this, but I’m OK with that.

  5. james huggins

    I like Carrie. You need to get after some ugly chick. Never let it be said I don’t give these issues the depth of thought they require.

  6. M. B. Moon

    “Why do gentelmen prefer blondes again?” mari

    They do? Good, that leaves all the redheads to me.

  7. Whoopdy Do

    Before we go slurring all blondes, we should ascertain how many of the ladies in question actually ARE blond.

    It is time to end the shameless masquerades of brunettes pretending to a higher hair color. I feel we must do this for the sake of the children. Furthermore, as this is rapidly turning into a national crisis, we must act NOW.

    Therefore, I propose a new Federal Agency to regulate and police all shades of hair. Funding for this program will involve only a minimal taxpayer contribution (for now).

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