Category Archives: Art

UPDATED: Bump-N’-Grind Britannia

Aesthetics, Art, Britain, Music, Pop-Culture, Sport

Those of us who’re familiar with Pink Floyd’s “Wish You Were Here,” in the original, were galled, if not surprised, by the distortions a warbler called Ed Sheeran introduced to the number, during the closing ceremony of the London 2012 Olympics. (The Idiocracy was charmed, naturally.)

How do you suck the essence out of a piece of music?

Easily, if to judge by the vulgar performances that followed, most of them punctuated by the primal screams of one Jessie J, who also destroyed “We Will Rock You” (admittedly one of Queen’s worst numbers), and drowned out Brian May. Thankfully, Jessie J did not tamper with “We Are the Champions.”

A complex chord progression is the hallmark of many a Queen’s song. Today’s T & A lineup (Brit and Yankee alike) can belt out loud guttural screams. But you need a finely tuned instrument and musicality to sing well.

(An example of such an instrument is Carly Simon’s voice in this live performance of “That’s The Way I Always Heard It Should Be – 1972.” Hers is an evocative and nuanced voice. As to lyrics; you have to be a literate and complex individual to write as evocatively.)

Jessie J, aka The Crotch, does a poor man’s version of the Beyonce God-awful bump and grind.

There was a choir of kids (they get to them young) who mimed and gesticulated to the hackneyed sounds of “Imagine.” Their affectatious performance was reminiscent of the performance “art” of the 1960s and 1970s. So passe.

There was nothing “Winston Churchill” about the bloke that recited Shakespeare. It shows you how far removed Brits are from their own history. For a better Churchill I recommend the … historians of … Iron Maiden.

Yes, where were Iron Maiden, or real virtuosos like Ian Anderson (also a bit of a history buff, in as much as he knew a thing or two about … Jethro Tull).

The above Brit superstars were overwhelmingly … male. A man who can wield an axe would intimidate a chorus-line of prancing nuns and “men” stomping about with garbage cans.

The closing ceremony of the London 2012 Olympics would have been far improved had the hip organizers left Freddie Mercury up on the screen and played “Queen.” Come to think of it, Michael Jackson’s “Thriller,” replayed over and over again would have been preferable to the camp celebration of kitsch that unfolded.

UPDATE (Aug. 14): In reply to a Facebook reader: You said what I did not. The Chinese did do a better job of the Olympic ceremonies. Theirs were artful, if rigid, displays of skill, and, while the Chinese ceremonies had a cultural flavor—they were without political overtones.

UPDATED: ‘You Can’t Steal A Rash’ (SENSUALITY VS. VULGARITY)

Aesthetics, Art, Celebrity, Music, Pop-Culture, Sex

So says Joan Rivers about Madonna’s oeuvre.

She, Madonna, keeps saying that Lady Gaga stole all her stuff. How can you steal a rash? Certain things you can’t steal.

AND,

She wasn’t showing off her nipple [in Turkey], she was showing off her ankle bracelet, at her age. I know the doctor who did Madonna’s fine body: Irving Schwartz. He did her and Kathy Bates.

Joan Rivers is brilliant. The Madonna-cum-Gaga claptrap is a rash. The one entertainer has accused the other younger version of herself of stealing her two-chord hump-along ditty. Both have been richly rewarded for the hideous bedroom noises they emit. To be honest, equally unintelligent, I think Gaga is slightly more talented, if that’s saying anything.

But, as a studio musician explained to me, this T & A line-up (Talor Swift, the Britney Spears of country music is included here) would be reduced to embarrassing grunts, out-of-tune yelps, and bedroom whispers, if not for the Auto-Tune, the “holy grail of recording,” that “corrects intonation problems in vocals or solo instruments, in real time, without distortion or artifacts.”

UPDATE (June 15): SENSUALITY VS. VULGARITY. To Nick’s sharp Comment-Section observation: Are men still able to distinguish true sensuality from vulgarity? Back in the day, women knew how to exude the first quality. It invariably involved a hint of something, not a show of all you had. You just know that being in bed with Gaga or Madonna is the most frightening experience for a man. And, you can be sure that they fake IT. Sensuality involves the ability to transcend yourself; these creatures are pathologically narcissistic.

RIP, Whitney Houston

Art, Music, Pop-Culture

RIP, Whitney Houston. She was weird, wacky, and very talented. Born into a deeply religious family, Houston died addicted and deeply conflicted. She was blessed with a refined singing voice—4 octave range. Once a beauty, she faded fast. Still, in an age where the Beyonce and Jennifer Hudson bump and grind are celebrated at the White House (where once Pablo Casals played), Houston deserves to be remembered as a fine singer. Here she is in one of her finest moments, singing, not screaming (as the others all do), “I Will Always Love You.”

In recent years, American “artists” have botched the National Anthem, both the lyrics and the music. Houston gave us the loveliest, most naturally exuberant, musical, perfectly pitched rendition. She wore the right outfit too, no ho couture at a sports event. What a pro. So all-American. Here Houston is, singing “The Star Spangled Banner” before Super Bowl XXV on Jan. 27, 1991 in Tampa.

UPDATE III: Meryl Creep’s ‘Craft’ (Access Hollywood)

Art, Bush, Celebrity, Hollywood, Left-Liberalism And Progressivisim, Pop-Culture, Propaganda, Pseudo-intellectualism

“I gotta thank everybody in England that let me come and trample over their history,’ crowed the pretentious over-actor, Meryl Creep, during the Golden Globes Award ceremony, where Creep was rewarded for a role in trashing The Iron Lady.

The silly bitch, doyenne of American cinema, needed everybody to know that, noble character that she is, she, Meryl, still managed to play (the much-greater) Margaret Thatcher, despite hating the prime minister’s politics—and guts.

So has Hollywood been elevated in the zeitgeist that it can take time off from narrating, entertaining, and telling stories—as it once did—to “educate,” preach, propagandize, and rub our noses in this royal muck.

The deeply stupid inhabitants of Hollywood have been imbued with magical qualities, so much so that they can ditch their jobs as entertainers and devote their lives to trying to improve the plebs who lap their crap up.

But the evidence is in. Activism has now replaced acting, and sermons have supplanted stories. I don’t know about you, but given my own intelligence, I refuse to be lectured by “tards.” Unless these cerebrally compromised egotists can promise me a GOOD STORY sans politics—I do not patronize their “art.”

What will it take for clear-thinking people to quit enriching Hollywood “tards”?

The tarts and “tards” of Hollywood should be made to understand, through their pocketbooks, that they are nothing but public entertainers; glorified circus animals, show critters. Amuse us–if anything, make us think less about our daily political reality—or f-ck off.

Will YOU carry through?

UPDATE I: “… her philo–Semitism, always the mark of excellence in a Gentile,” writes Julie Burchill, in the essay, “Slimeballs always hate a strong woman.”

UPDATE II (July 17): Kids, kids, Hollywood was once great when its men and women reflected the multifaceted soul of America, RIP. Now Hollywood is simply a monolithic, left-liberal automaton, marching in thematic unison. Again and again we see the same theme, the same preachy worldview, the same giant digit wagging above at the captive audience. And the scripts: impoverished and ignorant.

Please, people, give credit where it was once due.

“A Christmas Story,”
Munich

And boy, could the joyless A. Jolie learn a thing or two about acting from the many great performances of her dad Jon Voight. The Odessa File, for one.

Don’t forget the few good TV series, such as Lights Out, Justified, Mad Men, etc.

UPDATE III: ACCESS HOLLYWOOD. Via Laura Ingraham:

Everyone knows President Barack Obama likes a celebrity fix – just ask Johnny Depp.
And today, just a day after pictures emerged of his extravagant 2009 Halloween party at the White House, the most powerful man in America was enjoying more VIP company.
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie brought some Hollywood star power to Washington D.C. as they stopped by for a chat with the chief executive at the Oval Office.

Bush was no different.That war criminal was as tight as thieves with Bono.