A girl has to have some fun: In my new WND.COM column, “And Now For Something Completely Different,” I invite you to laugh along about the EO (The European Onion), “A-Jad,” Geithner (the gift that keeps giving), and Obama who “never runs out of things to say, only things worth saying”:

“Although Obama has appointed more czars in six months than Russia’s Romanov Dynasty had occasion to anoint over three centuries, he is still missing a Vegetable Czar. If he acts quickly, Barack might be able to recruit a cheap VC with experience from The European Onion (formerly the EU).

The EO has been regulating fresh produce for quite some time. Duly, the Brussels Sprouts that run the Continent had barred “curly cucumbers, crooked carrots and mottled mushrooms – any odd-looking fruit and vegetables” — from Europe’s markets and supermarkets

But things are about to change. As the BBC News reported in a burst of good cheer, “July 1 marks the return to our shelves of the curved cucumber and the knobbly carrot.” Indeed, Agriculture Commissioner Mariann Fischer Boel has finally disavowed the rules that were introduced to ensure common standards among EU vegetables, “but are regarded by critics as examples of Euro-madness.”

Said the Patron Saint of ‘wonky’ vegetables…”

The complete column is “And Now For Something Completely Different.”

Miss the weekly column on WND.COM? Catch it on Taki’s Magazine every Saturday.

If from the title of this post you’ve deduced that the newly christened European Onion (EU) had been regulating produce—then you are perfectly correct. “Curly cucumbers, crooked carrots and mottled mushrooms – odd-looking fruit and vegetables” had been barred from Europe’s markets and supermarkets by the Brussel sprouts that run that Continent.

BBC News: “July 1 marks the return to our shelves of the curved cucumber and the knobbly carrot,” said Agriculture Commissioner Mariann Fischer Boel.

“We don’t need to regulate this sort of thing at EU level. It is far better to leave it to market operators,” said the Patron Saint of the “wonky” vegetables.

I’m proud to say that my people, those who are based in The Netherlands, turned out for the great Geert Wilders, and are celebrating a tremendous win for the brave Dutchman. “a whopping 17 percent of the vote in the Netherlands went to the Wilders anti-Islamic Freedom Party.”

The Christian Science Monitor preferred a broad-brush indictment of Wilders as a “far-right politician.” To the Dutch who elected him, he’s a hero. I guess his constituents believe in halting the Islamic takeover of the Netherlands. Bad form, I know. My family too is funny that way; they don’t much appreciate the rising assaults on Jews and Jewish businesses that have coincided with an ongoing, generous influx of Muslim immigrants. “Xenophobia” in journalistic parlance.

Unlike the American hard-right, Wilders is a friend of Israel.

About the EU’s efforts to concentrate power while obliterating the ancient nations of Europe, not enough bad things can be said. I tried to cover it in “Adieu to the Evil EU.“

The swindler-in-chief’s shakedown efforts have taken a predictable turn today. Reports a sympathetic Bloomberg:

“President Barack Obama proposed raising about $190 billion over the next decade by outlawing three offshore tax-avoidance techniques. Obama’s plan also would make it riskier for Americans to stash money in tax-havens.”

Note how the efforts of private property owners to retain what is theirs by right are criminalized with the use of terms such as “stash away,” “tax avoidance,” “abusive,” “hiding money.” But state theft of said property is framed as “raising money,” “closing loopholes,” and conducting a “tax overhaul.”

The tax code is “full of corporate loopholes that makes it perfectly legal for companies to avoid paying their fair share,” Obama said at the White House today, as he outlined the plan [and as Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner looked on with that evil-gnome scowl of his].

In 2001, I had the unusual occasion to commend the Bush Administration for refusing “to support an attempt by the Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) to clamp down on tax havens. If the junta of high-tax governments has its way,” I wrote in the Financial Post, “not only will there be no place left to run to, but by eliminating what tax havens offer, these governments will have eliminated tax competition, and with it the imperative to downsize their fiefdoms.”

In “The War on Tax Havens,” I strongly condemned the coercive efforts of the OECD to strangle, “sanctuaries such as Bermuda, the Cayman Islands, Cyprus, Malta, Mauritius and San Marino are rolling over.”

The sentiment applies to the Obaminator in spades. I fully expect him, moreover, to fulfill the UN’s dream of establishing an international tax collection organization, so as to better co-ordinate the confiscation of private property.

Incidentally, a few weeks back the administration (and Bush would have been of the same mind) sanctimoniously castigated Castro for taxing remittances from the US. Pot. Kettle. Black. And oh the hypocrisy! The US is one of the few nations to tax the income that nationals earn outside its borders.

Recommended: “The War on Tax Havens”