Category Archives: Judaism & Jews

TEVYE TODAY (Or, Fiddler On The Roof 2)

Culture, Judaism & Jews, Left-Liberalism And Progressivisim, The Zeitgeist

Fiddler On The Roof 2 – The Sequel

By Myron Pauli, who, by day, is a physicist and a father to one girl*

“Fiddler on the Roof” (the original) is coming near my home in early June. I was thinking that the original, however quaint, is far outdated and perhaps it is time for a sequel.

Fiddler on the Roof 2 takes place in current America. Tevye is now a Reform Jew with several daughters ready for marriage:

Deborah: Daddy, I am going to get married to Sol. Sol
is a complete atheist and insists that we do not expose our children to any religion.

Tevye: But does he give money to Common Cause and Handgun Control and Peace Now and all the right charities?

Deborah: Of course, Daddy.

Tevye: And he’s Jewish! You have my blessing.

Rebekkah: Daddy, I want to get married. I am going to marry a Rabbi.

Tevye: A rabbi – what an honor!

Rebekkah: Her name is Rachel, you will love her.

Tevye: I hope she’s reform and not conservative!

Rebekkah: What kind of a girl did you raise? Of course!

Miriam: Daddy, I am going to marry David. He’s a practicing Reform Jew and a great husband.

Tevye: You mean you THINK he’ll make a great husband.

Miriam: No, daddy, his six other wives tell me he is a wonderful husband and father.

Tevye: Well, you have my blessing.

Sarah: Daddy, I’m in love – and he’s Jewish. He is a little different, however. He works at the kiddie farm and he loves children. I hope you are tolerant and approve of diversity.

Tevye: Can I meet him? What’s his name.

Sarah: His name is Mr. Ed. He’s right outside.

Tevye: Mr. Ed is a horse.

Sarah: Daddy, don’t be a stick-in-the-mud. I met Mr. Ed at the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals rally. Ask him a few questions.

Tevye: Mr. Ed, do you keep kosher.

Ed: Nay

Tevye: Mr. Ed, do you refuse to work on Saturday?

Ed: Nay

Tevye: Do you contribute to any right-wing causes?

Ed: Nay nay nay

Tevye: You have my blessing.

Bella: Daddy, I want you to meet a great guy whom I met at the Greenpeace rally. His name is Sven.

Tevye: Oi, a goy!

Bella: He’s willing to convert to Reform Judaism. He’s studied all the principles of Reform Judaism. Go quiz him.

Tevye: Ok, Sven. What is the greatest choice a woman can make?

Sven: To have an abortion. A late term, partial-birth abortion is the highest calling possible.

Tevye: How about this one – what does the Bible say about homosexuality?

Sven: The Bible teaches us that we must tolerate diversity and condemn those heathens who promote heterosexuality, monogamy, and other perversions.

Tevye: Well, you do sound learned. But I will ask you one more question because I have to be careful. What is absolutely forbidden according to our sacred scrolls?

Sven: Bork!

Tevye: Gotchaa! I just had a ham and cheese this morning.

Sven: Not pork, I said Bork! Robert Bork, that right-wing judge who would make women have coathanger abortions and enslave all black people.

Tevye: Of course, Sven. You are truly a mensch and a true believer. Enjoy your life with Bella.

Hanna: Daddy, I’m going to marry Moshe.

Tevye: What’s that silly round thing on his head?

Hanna: It’s a kippa.

Tevye: What – he’s keeping his bald spot hidden?

Hanna: No, it’s a yarmulke. Moshe is Orthodox.

Tevye: Oi vey!

Hanna: We’re going to set up a kosher home in Hebron in Judea and keep all 613 mitzvot [commandments].

Tevye: No No NO NO NO!!!! He’s Orthodox!! He’s going to be an imperialist obstruction to the Peace Process – a settler! A right-winger! Oi! Oi! Kosher! Oi! Sabbath – oh, no! An atheist – OK. A lesbian – OK. A polygamist – OK. A horse – OK. A goy – OK. But Orthodox! Young lady, you have gone too far! Have you forgotten how you were raised?

I have no daughter! OUT OF MY HOUSE!

******
* Barely a Blog (BAB) contributor Myron Pauli grew up in Sunnyside Queens, went off to college in Cleveland and then spent time in a mental institution in Cambridge MA (MIT) with Benjamin Netanyahu (did not know him), and others until he was released with the “hostages” and Jimmy Carter on January 20, 1981, having defended his dissertation in nuclear physics. Most of the time since, he has worked on infrared sensors, mainly at Naval Research Laboratory in Washington DC. He was NOT named after Ron Paul but is distantly related to physicist Wolftgang Pauli; unfortunately, only the “good looks” were handed down and not the brains. He writes assorted song lyrics and essays reflecting his cynicism and classical liberalism. Click on the “BAB’s A List” category to access the Pauli archive.

Jesus Was A Jew Through-And-Through

Christianity, Judaism & Jews, Left-Liberalism And Progressivisim, Political Correctness

He was quarrelsome, charismatic, domineering, polarizing; judgmental, fueled with messianic zeal, often impatient—in every fiber of his being, Jesus, Yehoshua in Hebrew, was the son of the God of wrath; the God of the Hebrew Testament. As such, says devout Catholic columnist Jack Kerwick, “Jesus spared no occasion to remind both fans and foes alike that He and ‘the God of the Old Testament’ [were] one and the same”:

“So it will be at the end of the age. The angels will come out and separate the evil from the righteous and throw them into the furnace of fire, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth” (Mt. 13: 49-50).

Nor was Jesus a pacifist, as did he like many a rich and influential person, for Judaism views wealth acquired justly as a sign of God’s blessings.

Jesus probably didn’t even look like the angelic images of him foisted on us by the Jesus industry. Face it, Jesus was Jewish through-and-through. He likely looked Jewish.

“The Real Jesus vs. the Neutered Idol of the Politically Respectable” is a lovely, piquant column by Jack Kerwick:

“Whoever is not with me is against me…but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come” (Mt. 12: 30-32; Mk. 3:19-30; Lk. 11:14-23).

For His enemies, the Pharisees and scribes, Jesus reserved a furry of criticism. They were “hypocrites,” “blind guides,” “whitewashed tombs” who are “full of the bones of the dead and of all kinds of filth” like “greed and self-indulgence.” His opponents are “descendants of those who murdered the prophets,” “snakes” and “vipers” who can’t “escape being sentenced to hell” (Mt. 23: 16-36; Mk. 12: 38-40; Lk. 20: 45-47) [.]

Yet even those who styled themselves His friends didn’t escape His wrath.

Unfaithful servants will be “cut” into “pieces” and placed “with the hypocrites, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth” (Mt. 24:51; Lk. 12: 41-48). Jesus informs His disciples of His plans for those nations with which He is displeased: “Then he [the Son of Man] will say to those at his left hand, ‘You that are accursed, depart from me into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels…And these will go away into eternal punishment” (Mt. 25: 41-46).

MORE.

A fine Easter and a happy Pesach to all.

Thoughts On Flash Forgiveness

Christianity, Judaism & Jews, Justice, Morality, Pop-Culture, Religion, The Zeitgeist

“Thoughts on Flash Forgiveness” is the current column, now on WND. In it I find myself in some agreement with New York Times columnist David Brooks. An excerpt:

… Brooks’ trouble is the breakneck speed in which he shifted into a discussion of forgiveness [for NBC’s Brian Williams]. Is this not premature? Brooks, moreover, is also plain wrong in claiming that transgressors are treated “barbarically” when they “violate a public trust.” In a culture steeped in moral relativism, this is simply untrue. Paris Hilton debuted her public life with a self-adoring pornographic video. It only increased her profile. Likewise Kim Kardashian, who has been bottoms-up ever since her maiden performance. Her sibling, as vulgar, has visited the White House. Barack Obama lied intentionally when he vowed, “You can keep your healthcare if you want to,” but all was forgiven and forgotten. The president’s latest lies are that ISIS is un-Islamic and that “Islam has been woven into the fabric of our country since its founding.” These fables are cut out of whole cloth. The same goes for the web of lies “W” wove on the matter of WMD in Iraq. On and on.

Still, boilerplate Brooks is tempered by some solid points about the need to perform penitence before being granted clemency …

Read the rest. “Thoughts on Flash Forgiveness” is now on WND.

Islam Enmeshed In America Since Founding? More Lies!

America, Founding Fathers, History, Islam, Judaism & Jews

Written mostly at an eighth-grade level (as measured by the Flesch-Kincaid readability test), Barack Obama’s ramblings are getting harder and harder to address seriously. The ISIS-is-un-Islamic absurdity overwhelmed all else in his latest address on “extremism”—so much so that another of Obama’s absurdities on that occasion has been neglected. Said the ass with ears: “Islam has been woven into the fabric of our country since its founding.”

That’s news to this writer. It’s true about the Jews of America, to whom George Washington promised peace and goodwill in a 1790 address to a synagogue congregation in Newport, Rhode Island. “The highest ranking Jewish officer of the Colonial forces was Colonel Mordecai Sheftall.” Why we Jews even had a Confederate colonel, Abraham Charles Myers.

In any event, “[a]fter President Barack Obama said this week that ‘Islam has been woven into the fabric of our country since its founding,’ Glenn Beck asked historian David Barton to come on his radio program” and get to the bottom of this fiction:

“In all the reading I’ve done, thousands of books, there’s nothing there,” Barton said on Friday. “I mean, we know that Muslims were the folks who captured the slaves sent to America, largely out of Africa. … The Muslims did the slave hunting and the slave trading, et cetera. The first Muslims came to America as a result of the Muslims capturing them and sending them to the Dutch traders.”

Barton said that beyond their heavy involvement in the slave trade, America was at war with the Barbary pirates shortly after the founding of the country, but those were “the two biggest contributions.”

“This is the fabric,” Beck said with heavy sarcasm. “I mean, it’s practically the whole blanket.”

Barton added that there were a number of Muslims whose activities were recorded in the 1800?s, but it might be a stretch to say they are part of the “fabric of the country.” One such Muslim helped the American military raise camels, he said.

MORE.

Timeline in American Jewish History.

History of the Jews in the United States.

“History of the Jews in Colonial America.”