Category Archives: Art

A Glorified Lap Dancer Is Not a Musician

Art, Music, Sex

Gorgeous, entertainer, great dancer, great beauty, well-coordinated, fabulous at twerking, a glorified lap dance: Beyoncé is all those. A musician she is not.

At last, someone who is a musician calls it as it is. Carlos Santana stands firm (no apology tour, maestro), insisting that Beyoncé is no musician:

“With all respect to our sister Beyoncé,” he said, “Beyoncé is very beautiful to look at and it’s more like modeling kind of music—music to model a dress—she’s not a singer, singer, with all respect to her.”

What a lovely analogy! The girl models a song. All the video vixens act and model their “numbers.” Without the indispensable aid of the almighty Auto-Tune, Katy Perry would sound even more like a chipmunk. That’s fine. There’s a market for this. But please don’t call it music.

Santana stands against decades of pop-porn marketed as “music.” He knows that definitions matter. We need to know the difference between Santana’s playing and the two-chord wonders in most bands today.

And Santana’s not the best. This unknown neoclassical guitarist isn’t famous, but he’s far and away the superior player: exquisite compositions, stunning virtuosity (not sure Santana could play “Mushrooms of Fire.” It’s effing impossible. My fav. The short samples don’t upload in the Fire Fox browser. Try Microsoft Edge.)

“Dealer” from my favorite Album, “Inner Secrets”:

“Well All Right”:

RELATED: “Heavenly Al Jarreau, Rest In Peace And Rock The Heavens.”

UPDATED (2/14): Heavenly Al Jarreau, Rest In Peace And Rock The Heavens

America, Art, Human Accomplishment, Music

Al Jarreau retired from performing last week. And then he died. Poetic.
Al Jarreau was perfection. A giant of music, in general, and of the soul-jazz genre, in particular. And no, Gaga (she’s the best in a bad bunch), Beyonce and the twat Madonna are circus animals, entertainers, no more. Except that for their assaults on the ear, these artistes should be made to suffer the abuse innocent circus animals endure (yes, why don’t the pinhead preachers quit lecturing and do something for performer animals who perform under such duress).

You realize how rotten popular music is when you listen to this man.

Young in Spain:

Older in Spain. Al Jarreau is still perfection, as is Steve Gadd, both are sublime, better than anything that ululates and twerks on stage these days, and is nothing without the almighty Auto-Tune.

What a sweet sweet soul.

UPDATE (2/14):Facebook thread.

‘Go On Now Go,’ Barack Obama, ‘Walk Out The Door …’

Art, Barack Obama, Democracy, Donald Trump, Hollywood

“‘Go On Now Go,’ Barack Obama, ‘Walk Out The Door …’” is the current column, now on or The Daily Caller (in case the Russians mess with one of the sites). An excerpt:

The Hollywood Idiocracy has let out a primal scream to protest Donald Trump, the people’s president. Members of the collective convened to convulse like Linda Blare in “The Exorcist,” to the sounds of Gloria Gaynor in “I Will Survive.”

This particular protest was made up of mediocre females: Emma Stone, Natalie Portman, Amy Adams, Hailee Steinfeld, Chris Pine, Michael Shannon, Matthew McConaughey, Andrew Garfield, and Joel Edgerton (the last five are women with the Y chromosome).

Miss Blare, of course, was great in “The Exorcist.” The same goes for the demon Pazuzu who possessed Blair’s character (Regan MacNeil) in the film. At his gurgling snarling worst, Pazuzu was easier on the ear than the actors who primal-screamed their way through Gaynor’s fabulous, 1979 disco number.

How full of yourself must you be to sound and look as vapid as these celebrities did on the vid? A less self-aggrandizing group would have used the Auto-Tune technology, a must for the T & A that parade as artists these days! Or perhaps they did, and Team “I Will Survive” is even worse than it sounds.

Speaking of self-adoration, I’ve lost count of how many goodbyes Barack Hussein Obama has bid. The countdown to President-elect Trump’s inauguration has morphed into a search-and-rescue for the Obama legacy, except that when something is dead; it becomes a recovery operation.

The other day, Obama “popped by” to say goodbye to Press Secretary Josh Earnest. I can’t quite recall what 44 said, but the interlude was all about Obama.

Indeed, nothing Obama has ever said is memorable, or has intellectual acuity to it. This goes for his farewell address. President-elect Trump might be inarticulate and plain-spoken; but each of his words means something tangible and actionable. The incumbent’s words, conversely, are like a Rorschach test: fuzzy, hazy verbal vapor, designed to absorb the listener’s projected emotions and reflect them back soothingly.

The cliché is the operative word in an Obama sentence. Visit any random site or video clip featuring Obama excerpts and you’ll hear mind-numbing banalities. Here’s one at random (2009): “What brings us together is stronger than what pulls us apart.”

As measured by the Flesch-Kincaid readability test, a “Smart Politics,” 2012 study concluded that “for the third straight Address, the President’s State of the Union message was written at an eighth-grade level.”

During his interminable farewell address

… Read the rest. “‘Go On Now Go,’ Barack Obama, ‘Walk Out The Door …’” is now on or The Daily Caller.

UPDATED (11/20): Boycott Hamilton. Brandon Dixon: ‘Shut-Up And Sing’

Art, Etiquette, Politics, Pop-Culture, Propaganda

Everybody’s a preacher and a scold these days; nobody is professional. Nobody sings well, tells a good joke, writes proficiently or acts well anymore. It’s all polluted. It all bleeds into A Giant Finger Wagging and Lecturing.

Brandon Dixon is pathetic and insufferably pompous, not “powerful,” as Rolling Stone called the actor, who saw fit to lecture VP Mike Pence, who was naive enough attend the crappy Broadway show, “Hamilton.”

I won’t repeat the trite stupidities and cliches that tumbled from Dixon’s mouth. Read them if you like:

The cast of Hamilton addressed Mike Pence with a powerful speech after the Vice President-elect attended the Friday night performance of the Tony-winning hip-hop musical.

Pence had initially received an icy reception from the New York audience, with video of the Indiana governor being roundly booed upon entering the Richard Rodgers Theater quickly circulating on social media.

However, upon the show’s curtain call, the cast and crew of Hamilton, led by actor Brandon Victor Dixon, had a strong message to deliver to the VP-elect. “There’s nothing to boo here, we’re all here sharing a story of love,” Dixon said. “We have a message for you, sir.”

UPDATE (11/20): It’s all about etiquette; that and professionalism.