Category Archives: Military

Uncle Sam Turns Tricks (& Stiffs Sex Workers)

Affirmative Action, Ethics, Etiquette, Feminism, Government, Military, Morality, Politics, Sex, The State

In “Uncle Sam Turns Tricks (& Stiffs Sex Workers),” the latest weekly column, I make a Modest Proposal. Here’s an excerpt:

“They seemed like complete stupid idiots. I was surprised that every time he [the Secret Service agent] danced with me, he lifted up his sweater so I could see [his ripped abs].”

Beefcake unburdened by brains is how Colombian call girl Dania Suárez described the Special Forces agents who solicited her services at the Hotel El Caribe in Cartagena, Colombia, prior to President Obama’s arrival in that country for the April, 2012, Summit of the Americas.

The “morons,” said the sassy Suárez, “drank liberally and acted boisterously, one of them jumping onto the bar.” Nor were they shy about petitioning Suárez and her sex-worker colleagues for favors.

Our boys abroad were clearly practiced pros.

Slightly more uplifting was the news that one of the married Secret Service agents who serves the president at the pleasure of the American taxpayer likes “normal sex.”

Kinky carnality, however, is preferable to a man who does not honor a contract. The agent refused to pay Suárez the $800 dollars he owed her, which is why this tempest in a C-Cup blew up in the first place.

Fortunately for the errant agent, “paid sex is legal in Cartagena.” Rather than call on a pimp, the prostitute petitioned local law enforcement for redress. A pimp would have likely worked the agent over good and proper.

All in all, a million here and there for a good time is nothing in the grand scheme of the tricks turned by the Empire’s foot-soldiers and stooges—and the toll these tricks take.

Come to think of it, if regular visits with prostitutes kept the political class from launching trillion-dollar war- and welfare programs, and financing Fanny, Freddy and the Fed—I would personally contribute to a prostitution fund for Washington whores.

The prostitutes would be the patriots. …”

Read the complete column, “Uncle Sam Turns Tricks (& Stiffs Sex Workers).”

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From Bagram In Bondage

Barack Obama, Foreign Aid, Middle East, Military, Neoconservatism, War, Welfare

Windy and insubstantial is the kindest thing an honest newsman might say about the gimmick that is the Strategic Partnership Agreement, signed today by Barack Obama in Afghanistan. The president snuck into that US satrapy in secret. Had his intended “benevolence” toward the poor Pashtuns of Afghanistan been made public—the same people would have tried to blow Air Force One out of the sky.

“Afghanistan has a friend and a partner in the United States,” Obama said before he and Afghan President Hamid Karzai signed the Strategic Partnership Agreement outlining cooperation between their countries once the U.S.-led international force withdraws in 2014. … “There will be difficult days ahead, but as we move forward in our transition, I’m confident that Afghan forces will grow stronger; the Afghan people will take control of their future,” Obama said.

(CNN)

Blah, blah, blah.

Stripped of the baffle-gab, the agreement from Bagram amounts to this: Even when U.S. forces in Afghanistan are reduced considerably, they will still maintain the necessary meaty presence.

Oops, I meant to say the “enduring partnership,” which would, ostensibly, “prevent the Taliban from waiting until the U.S. withdrawal to try to regain power.”

Essentially we’re paying to keep in power the authoritarian protectorate we’ve helped establish, headed by the puppet we appoint, all of whom are hated by the Pashtun majority.

Afghanistan was the war Obama could call his own. He increased America’s presence there from 30,000 troops to 90,000, and thus earned his commander-in-chief credentials. Electability in fin de siècle America hinges on projecting strength around the world—an American leader has to aspire to protect borders and people not his own. Obama needed a war he could call his own. Afghanistan served his purposes.

And he intends on keeping Afghanistan on America’s welfare rolls. Afghanistan’s GDP approximates the foreign aid it receives annually, and you know who supplies the lion’s share of that “GDP”? Counterfeiter-in Chief, Ben Bernanke and the US printing press.

At the expense of the American taxpayer.

It goes without saying that Republicans like Senators John McCain, Joseph Lieberman and Lindsey Graham, the three blind neoconservative mice, are elated about the signing of the “Strategic Partnership Agreement (SPA) with President Karzai,” as it “will allow the United States military to operate in Afghanistan, though without permanent bases.”

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Body-Parts Porn Again

Foreign Policy, Just War, Middle East, Military, War

OOPS, GI JOE’S BEEN BAD, AGAIN. Corpse desecration and other crimes against the occupied were said to be the purview of a “few bad apples” in an otherwise stellar American military. For a rarity, the body-parts pornography appears to be quite common. Naturally, every rational individual knows (NOT!) that blame lies with … the L.A. Times for exposing the latest incident of beastly behavior. All the better to deflect from the perps and the King’s comitatus that keeps them in blighted and benighted Afghanistan.

So what exactly are we talking about? Over to the LA Times:

The paratroopers had their assignment: Check out reports that Afghan police had recovered the mangled remains of an insurgent suicide bomber. Try to get iris scans and fingerprints for identification.
The 82nd Airborne Division soldiers arrived at the police station in Afghanistan’s Zabol province in February 2010. They inspected the body parts. Then the mission turned macabre: The paratroopers posed for photos next to Afghan police, grinning while some held — and others squatted beside — the corpse’s severed legs. …

As was remarked upon in “To Pee Or Not To Pee is Not the Question,” “…the truth about the people we are pissing on and pissing off in Afghanistan is quite simple. America’s indisputably brave soldiers have been ordered to, at once, woo and war against a primitive Pashtun population. These Pashtuns disdain the central government we desperately want them to obey. So it goes: We help local groups believed to be patriotic, but, at the same time, end up establishing an authoritarian protectorate they despise.”

UPDATE II: Flying in Perfect Propagandist Formation

Gender, Media, Military, Propaganda

Front men for the military-media-congressional-industrial complex swooped down in elegant formation after one of their own, “a student pilot and an instructor,” crashed “a Navy fighter jet,” Friday, “into an apartment complex in Virginia Beach, Va.”

Buildings were destroyed and a few lowly civilians hurt, but it was hard to ascertain the extent of the destruction or the identity of the injured by listening to corporate cable.

Shep Smith went weak at the knees, waxing orgasmic about the cool bravery of the careless culprits. The student pilot and his instructor told a bewildered home owner, “Sorry for destroying your house.” Shep thought that having survived the crash (never mind totaling an apartment complex), these careless sorts were the epitome of cool for apologizing.

For the better part of the day, various representatives, including Virginia Gov. Bob McDonnell, affirmed the community’s close ties with the assorted “military bases, including Naval Station Norfolk, the largest naval base in the world.”

Adm. John Harvey, “the head of U.S. Fleet Forces Command promised to conduct a complete investigation into the cause of this mishap.” At a press conference in Virginia Beach, Navy Capt. Mark Weisgerber chimed in too.

Little was heard from “the densely populated neighborhood where the plane crashed.” But, no doubt, these good folks view this kind of occurrence as part of keeping an imperiled America safe.

Needless to say, the malfunctioning media failed to float the question as to whether student pilots should be practicing over densely populated areas. The same perfect propagandist formation was galvanized after Army Staff Sgt. Robert Bales, the accused in the massacre of 16 civilians in the Panjwai district of Kandahar Province, did his deed.

UPDATE I (April 7): You forget, Myron, this important distinction, also the only one that matters. This was a fighter jet that crashed into a densely populated area, not a commercial aircraft which serves the public and is vital to the public. We all accept the dangers of commercial airplanes taking off and landing in proximity to our homes. This, however, was a military maneuver. It belongs away from civilization, where it cannot harm it. If these sacred cows want to play with their taxpayer-funded toys—let them do it where they cannot harm the good, peaceable people who fund their games.

UPDATE II: In response to TD Hunt, on Facebook. I have no doubt the military employs some of our finest men— where else can real men find employers who allow them to be men, and play with the kind of “toys” men naturally enjoy? My point in the post was to dissect the military-centered response of the special interests involved—media, military, pols, and yes, a compliant public. I heard the story as it broke. The first words out of the mouths of reporters, for hours to come, was to assure us all that the brave men of the military were safe and oh-so-cool. Not a peep about The People who might have been buried in the rubble of an entire apartment complex. The same military-centered reaction kicks in covering military atrocities abroad.