Category Archives: Politics

Uncle Sam Turns Tricks (& Stiffs Sex Workers)

Affirmative Action, Ethics, Etiquette, Feminism, Government, Military, Morality, Politics, Sex, The State

In “Uncle Sam Turns Tricks (& Stiffs Sex Workers),” the latest weekly column, I make a Modest Proposal. Here’s an excerpt:

“They seemed like complete stupid idiots. I was surprised that every time he [the Secret Service agent] danced with me, he lifted up his sweater so I could see [his ripped abs].”

Beefcake unburdened by brains is how Colombian call girl Dania Suárez described the Special Forces agents who solicited her services at the Hotel El Caribe in Cartagena, Colombia, prior to President Obama’s arrival in that country for the April, 2012, Summit of the Americas.

The “morons,” said the sassy Suárez, “drank liberally and acted boisterously, one of them jumping onto the bar.” Nor were they shy about petitioning Suárez and her sex-worker colleagues for favors.

Our boys abroad were clearly practiced pros.

Slightly more uplifting was the news that one of the married Secret Service agents who serves the president at the pleasure of the American taxpayer likes “normal sex.”

Kinky carnality, however, is preferable to a man who does not honor a contract. The agent refused to pay Suárez the $800 dollars he owed her, which is why this tempest in a C-Cup blew up in the first place.

Fortunately for the errant agent, “paid sex is legal in Cartagena.” Rather than call on a pimp, the prostitute petitioned local law enforcement for redress. A pimp would have likely worked the agent over good and proper.

All in all, a million here and there for a good time is nothing in the grand scheme of the tricks turned by the Empire’s foot-soldiers and stooges—and the toll these tricks take.

Come to think of it, if regular visits with prostitutes kept the political class from launching trillion-dollar war- and welfare programs, and financing Fanny, Freddy and the Fed—I would personally contribute to a prostitution fund for Washington whores.

The prostitutes would be the patriots. …”

Read the complete column, “Uncle Sam Turns Tricks (& Stiffs Sex Workers).”

If you’d like to feature this column in or on your publication (paper or pixels), contact ilana@ilanamercer.com.

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UPDATED: Hopeless Politics (Alarming Poll)

Democracy, Elections, Politics, Republicans, Ron Paul

I scanned a few headlines for coverage of Ron Paul’s showing in yesterday’s Colorado, Minnesota and Missouri presidential contests, but could find no mention of the man who placed second in Minnesota. Skim this New York Times page. The Congressman from Texas is absent from the report. (And some have argued with me over the utter corruption and cretinism of the American media, although, given that the lead doesn’t even contain the contested states, I suspect that idicoracy more than ideology is at play here). Finally, while Rick Santorum swept these states, they “were essentially nonbinding straw polls.”

Buried on the PBS News Hour’s page is one line to the effect that “Texas Congressman Ron Paul finished second in Minnesota, third in Missouri and last in Colorado.” No more.

The matter of low turnout interests me more. “One of the big losers was GOP turnout, which was down in every state, compared to four years ago,” observes The Guardian. “The ratio of turnout from 2012 to 2008 in both counties were in the bottom quarter of all counties in Iowa. Had turnout in either county been at the same level relative to 2008 as the average county, Romney’s less-than-100 vote loss would have been turned into a win.”

Perhaps voters who poured their heart and soul into Tea-Party politics have prefigured that the nature of American politics is such that even if their candidate wins, nothing will change in their lives or in the politics. It is amazing that in the face of hopelessness—growing economic misery commensurate with the assurances of trillions more in debt—the only shot across the bow comes from the confused and revolting Occupy Wall Street Movement. Or “Freak Street.”

Promises by the presidential contender to repeal all the unconstitutional legislation the incumbent has passed are just that: promises that can never be fulfilled. The fact that presidents come and go and leave in their wake such devastation—essentially trashing the office and the country—demonstrates the reality of power without limitation. Since the Constitution is a dead letter, the political process consists in each faction passing its unconstitutional infractions into law, as the other gang guarantees repeal.

“The Democratic and Republican parties each operates as a necessary counterweight in a partnership designed to keep the pendulum of power swinging in perpetuity from the one set of colluding quislings to the other, and back.”—ILANA (January 15, 2010)

“No sooner do the Republicans come to power, than they move to the left. When they get their turn, Democrats shuffle to the right. At some point, McCain reaches across the aisle and the creeps converge.”—ILANA (January 15, 2010)

UPDATE: (Feb. 9): “Obama would defeat all of the four Republicans if the election were held today, but Ron Paul fares the best against the incumbent. Obama leads Paul 44 percent to 40 percent, with 16 percent undecided,” says a “WND/WENZEL POLL.”

TELL ME the generic Republican isn’t stupid:

“In every case except the match-up against Ron Paul, more than 20 percent of Republican voters said they are more likely to support Obama than the Republican challenger. And Ron Paul is close, as 19 percent of Republicans said they are more likely to support Obama than Paul.”

A hopeless polity.

UPDATED: State of Disunion (The Barf Rule)

America, Barack Obama, Constitution, Democrats, History, Politics, Propaganda, Republicans

Not that the Xbox nation would notice, but there are a lot more flashing images on Barack Obama’s website, at WhiteHouse.gov, than there are written words. As such, not much information is available on the president’s annual State of the Union message.

But like everything in the Constitution, a modest thing has morphed into a monstrosity. Article II, Section 3 of the Constitution required that the president “shall from time to time give to Congress information of the state of Union.”

A “Stalinesque extravaganza” that ought to offend “anyone of a republican (small ‘r’ …) sensibility,” is how National Review’s John Derbyshire has described the State of the Union speech. “American politics frequently throws up disgusting spectacles. It throws up one most years in January: the State of the Union speech,” writes Derb in “We Are Doomed: Reclaiming Conservative Pessimism,” a book I discussed in “Derb Is Right: ‘We Are Doomed'”

John goes on to furnish the quotidian details of how “the great man” is announced, how he makes an entrance; the way “the legislators jostle to catch his eye” and receive his favor. “On the podium at last, the president offers up preposterously grandiose assurances of protection, provision, and moral guidance from his government, these declarations of benevolent omnipotence punctuated by standing ovations and cheers from legislators” (p. 45).

Then there is the display of “Lenny Skutniks” in the audience, “model citizens chosen in order to represent some quality the president will call on us to admire and emulate” (last year it was the family of the little girl who was murdered by the Tucson shooter).

Derb analyzes this monarchical, contrived tradition against the backdrop of the steady inflation of the presidential office, and a trend “away from ‘prose’ to ‘poetry’; away from substantive argument to “hot air.”

The president of the USA is now “pontiff, in touch with Divinity, to be addressed like the Almighty.”

Prepare to puke.

UPDATE (Jan. 24): THE BARF RULE. The “Lenny Skutnik” for 2012 is …Warren Buffett’s secretary.

Debbie Bosanek “will be sitting with the first lady in her gallery box Tuesday night as President Obama announces his plans for tax reform at the State of the Union address. Bosanek, who has worked for Buffett for nearly two decades, has become as symbol of Obama’s tax reform plan. The ‘Buffett rule,’ named after her billionaire boss, aims to insure that wealthy taxpayers do not pay an effective tax rate lower than their secretaries.” (Via FoxNews)

Prepare to barf.

UPDATE II: Talked Ron Paul On RT (Russia Today) & MyRon Pauli Distills GOP Debate

Constitution, Foreign Policy, Ilana On Radio & TV, libertarianism, Media, Politics, Republicans, Ron Paul, Russia, The State

I was on Russia Today (RT), my favorite broadcaster, to discuss the Ron Paul surge. I am sorry I was unable to give you notice of the segment, but I’ve been tied up. I am sure it will pop up later. Send the embed if you find it; I’m no good at locating such things.

UPDATE I: To MyRon’s comment: If I watched myself do these things I’d never do them. I’m a writer, first and foremost. A shy one, at that. I thought RT’s Liz said “anti-war,” which is a variant on the “isolationism” libel against libertarian foreign policy,” but I could be wrong.

UPDATE II: MyRon Pauli Distills Tonight’s GOP Debate, in Sioux City, Iowa:

“I subjected myself to something almost as bad as waterboarding – watching the FOX NEWS DEBATE!

Rick and Michelle are out there trying to out do each other on protecting us from Partial Birth Abortions.

Perry was a bit better and almost funny as the Aw Shucks Redneck invoking Tim Tebow.

Huntsman, while no ideologue, actually tries to act like an adult instead of an idiotic panderer.

Mitt, the businessman, can lecture the Bloated Socialistic Newtonian on capitalism – but the voters looking for red meat cheap shots probably can’t understand a lick of economics.

Newt – that right wing socialistic egomaniac – oi vey – the true inheritor of and poster boy for Hoover Progressivism, Nixonian Price Controlling, and Dubya’s Compassionate Conservatism.

And then there is Ron Paul getting clobbered over how to deal with America’s number 1 threat – the IRANIAN NAVY (heck – what happened to the Nepalese Air Force, the Liectenstein Army, and the Maldive Islands Special Forces)? Strange because of my job that some of this hits home as well.

Well, I dozed off a few times waiting for Ahmadinejad’s Battleship to come sailing up the Potomac!”

This is MyRon Pauli signing off for BAB.

MyRon’s previous campaign dispatch for BAB was filed from his couch too. Read it.